What Is Mom Rage? Rage is recognized as a symptom of postpartum depression and anxiety, but it can extend beyond the postpartum period. It can also be a symptom of stay-at-home mom depression, due to the role mothers may find themselves in for years with multiple kids.
Anxiety and overwhelm
“Mom rage is often not an anger problem, but an anxiety problem,” says Palacios. For example, mom rage became more common during the COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns. Many parents had to transition to working from home — often while simultaneously homeschooling.
“If you eat well for a month, lose weight and feel better, but then go right back to eating badly, it's not going to last,” says Markham. “Try meditating 10 minutes a day for 90 days—that makes a solid habit. You will absolutely see a difference.” To combat my mom rage, I've been trying to get more sleep and exercise.
It can make them behave badly or get physically sick. Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.
We're depleted Over time, mothers become physically, emotionally and mentally drained of nutrients, strength and vitality. Psychologist Rick Hanson coined the phrase “depleted mother syndrome” and emphasizes how important it is to regain the strength we need to be there for ourselves and to manage our care-giving role.
They're dismissive or overwhelmed when the child has an emotional need. They're not interested in the child's life (interests, friend groups, school work). They have difficulty expressing their feelings, even with adults. They're unable or unwilling to provide comfort during emotional distress.
The parents are preoccupied (probably narcissistic) and don't know how to really attune to your needs and feelings. As a way to stay disconnected, they may discount your feelings for fear of intimacy with you.
You still lose your temper. You still find yourself getting harsh with your child. Why? The short answer is that most parents haven't integrated ( i.e., healed) their own anger, and therefore anger becomes the trigger for ugly reactions.
While there's no clinical definition for mom rage, experts say it describes the uncontrollable anger mothers can experience that leads to verbal and/or physical explosions. Up to 21 percent of women experience perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMAD), of which postpartum rage can be a symptom.
It's been shown to have long-term effects, like anxiety, low self-esteem, and increased aggression. It also makes children more susceptible to bullying since their understanding of healthy boundaries and self-respect are skewed.
Parents are often triggered by their children because they believe their children's bad behavior makes them look like bad parents. If parents could look at their children's behavior as disinterested parties, as they usually do with their friends, their children's behavior would not have any power over their emotions.
The causes of lifelong anger that some hold against a parent could be due to any of the following: Physical or emotional neglect from parents. They may not be intentionally abusive but were affected by their own vulnerabilities or limited emotional capacity. Physical, mental, or sexual abuse.
Types of emotional abuse
humiliating or constantly criticising a child. threatening, shouting at a child or calling them names. making the child the subject of jokes, or using sarcasm to hurt a child. blaming and scapegoating.
The short answer is that anger can run in families, and genetics can indeed play a role—which might help to explain your angry inclinations. However, there's another significant factor that can lead to kids adopting angry tendencies from their relatives: learned behavior.
A 2014 study in The Journal of Child Development demonstrated that yelling produces results similar to physical punishment in children: increased levels of anxiety, stress and depression along with an increase in behavioral problems.
Between hormones, physical discomfort after birth, and a complete upheaval of your daily routine, it's perfectly normal to feel resentful of a partner who gets to walk about pain-free without breastmilk-stained shirts or a child clinging to his body.
Increased anger with age is a common problem, but you don't have to feel angry all the time. Blue Moon Senior Counseling offers therapy for anger management, stress, anxiety, and other common problems affecting older adults.
The Mother Wound is an attachment trauma that creates a sense of confusion and devastation in the child's psyche. It instills deeply rooted beliefs that make the child feel unloved, abandoned, unworthy of care, and even fearful of expressing themselves.
Reasons for the detachment may be due to intergenerational and personal trauma, an absence of emotional intelligence, mental health issues, substance use and abuse issues, fragmented problem solving and conflict resolution skills, and a variety of other challenges.
Feeling disconnected from your child is a usual part of parenting. Although it leaves you questioning your abilities, with some time and effort, you can work on restoring your connection. Excess screen time, neglecting your own needs, and replacing quality time with material things can contribute to the disconnect.
Mommy issues in women
Low self-esteem. Difficulty trusting others/commitment issues. Having very few female friends. Feeling like you must do everything perfectly.
a strong need for affection and approval or difficulty showing affection or rapid shifts between the two. “cold feet” when it comes to relationship commitment. a need for maternal guidance when making decisions. difficulty spending time with or discussing their mother.