Feelings of helplessness, inadequacy, being “not enough.” “Checking out” of relationships or friendships, feeling unattached or emotionally unavailable to connect. Holding on to a relationship, even if it is unhealthy or abusive, so as to avoid any feelings of abandonment or loneliness.
Symptoms of Abandonment Issues in Adults or Adulthood
Extreme jealousy or clingy behavior in a romantic relationship. Pretend they don't care about a spouse when they do. Rejection of a partner before they can be rejected. Avoid getting close to others.
“Symptoms of abandonment trauma can include extreme insecurity or anxiety within a relationship, obsessive or intrusive thoughts of being abandoned, and also debilitating self-esteem or self regard.” When children feel abandoned, it can leave them feeling frightened and unsafe.
Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that occurs when an individual has a strong fear of losing loved ones. People with abandonment issues can have difficulties in relationships. They may exhibit symptoms such as codependency, clinginess, or manipulative behavior.
Abandonment issues have their roots in anxiety and are considered a type of anxiety disorder. Yet, the condition isn't recognized as a mental health issue or standalone condition by medical or clinical professionals. Instead, it's a grouping of behaviors that are associated with the fear of loss…
An anxious attachment style may manifest in fear of abandonment and a need for validation and constant reassurance from your loved one. It's typically caused by an unpredictable primary caregiver when you were a child.
Not always, but sometimes, those who develop abandonment issues use manipulative or controlling behaviors to get others to stay. This doesn't mean that you're an inherently bad person, and it is possible to overcome patterns of manipulative or controlling behavior.
If your feelings are hurt, you feel betrayed, abandoned, or rejected, and your partner doesnt care or minimizes them, thats a red flag. You should also be wary if you notice a pattern of lying or half-truths about other issues.
In the context of a marriage, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard are collectively referred to as emotional abandonment. It occurs when one partner is so preoccupied with their own concerns that they are unable to notice the struggles, concerns, or problems their partner is experiencing.
Signs of PTSD of Abandonment
Fear of being left behind or abandoned. Inability to form healthy relationships in the teenage or adult years. Low self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. Anxiety and insecurity.
Abandonment trauma stems from experiences that make us feel unsafe, insecure, and alone in childhood. It can become overwhelming and lead to anxiety and distrust of others. Therapy and self-care can help people feel prepared to face their abandonment trauma and start addressing how it is affecting their life.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps increase consciousness of feelings about certain life events. It may help a person with abandonment issues shift how they perceive events that cause fear. They may then restructure how they think about these events.
There is a term for this type of disengagement from a marriage – Sudden Wife Abandonment. Also, this type of departure can give a woman Wife Abandonment Syndrome (WAS). When a wife is suddenly abandoned she generally has no idea that her marriage is about to end. Often these types of marriage appear to be happy.
Self-Neglect and Self-Destructive Behaviors
Women with childhood abandonment wounds will have episodes of neglecting themselves, taking care of everyone and anyone but themselves. They may also act out, drink too much, take unnecessary risks or throw caution to the wind in a way that is clearly self-harming.
The trauma of abandonment leaves an emotional blueprint on the brain. People who suffer from abandonment wounds experience extreme emotional sensitivity to anything that triggers rejection, for example, feeling insignificant, criticized, misunderstood, slighted, excluded, or overlooked.
Abandonment fear often stems from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.
Individuals with this disorder also find it difficult to trust or express their deepest feelings for fear of abandonment, rejection, or loss. Avoidant personalities often draw near to people they love or care about, and later pull away out of fear.
The need to feel loved and the fear of the being abandoned can lead to these toxic relationships lasting far longer than they should. It can be difficult to trust people when you've been let down in the past, even when that let down was accidental or non-intentional, the feelings that result are the same.
Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that negatively impacts relationships. It causes excess stress and worry over loved ones leaving them. Trauma, abuse, neglect early in life, or other mental health conditions can lead to abandonment issues. Fortunately, these are readily treated through talk therapy.
Abandonment trauma refers to the intense emotional response and related behaviors that being neglected, emotionally or physically, can have on you, regardless of age. Significant abandonment incidents can cause you a great deal of emotional pain.