You may often feel empty and as if you don't know who you are. This personality disorder also causes emotional instability, relationship and intimacy challenges, impulsive behaviors, and a fear of being rejected.
Research from 2017 points out that feelings of loneliness are common in people with BPD. Many people with BPD have a strong desire to be close to others. However, fear of abandonment or a skewed sense of self may cause them to act impulsively or aggressively in an effort to keep loved ones close to them.
Patients fear being abandoned, yet relationships rupture easily. Together with a chronic feeling of emptiness, patients with BPD are highly susceptible to feeling intensely lonely.
As is explained by Harvard Medical School, “People with borderline personality disorder have a deep fear of abandonment… they compete for social acceptance, are terrified of rejection and often feel lonely even in the context of an intimate relationship.” Even with the strong desire to have loving, and lasting ...
To complicate matters, people with BPD often experience an intense fear of abandonment, sometimes due to their self-image issues, and may have difficulty spending time alone. When they're with people, they can demonstrate bouts of anger, moodiness or impulsivity that can push loved ones away.
People with borderline personality disorder who internalize often aim to hide how much pain and sadness they are in. This maladaptive coping mechanism can cause them to spiral emotionally, leaving them to feel like they don't fit in, belong, or have meaningful connections to the outside world.
Push/Pull behaviors
A common theory about why you might use this behavior if you have BPD is because you desperately crave closeness in your relationships but, fearing abandonment, you choose to reject this person before they can reject you.
As with 'classic BPD', you have a deep fear of abandonment, but instead of fighting for attachment in the form of clinginess, in quiet BPD you believe you deserve to be abandoned. The self-loathing can drive you to isolate yourself for days and weeks.
It's characterized by unstable moods and emotions, which affect relationships and behaviors. As a result, friendships with people with BPD can be rocky. Sometimes, people with BPD engage in behaviors that can seem manipulative, mean-spirited, or destructive.
Together, they may be conceptualized as boredom reactivity: some individuals (e.g., those with BPD) are likely more sensitive to boredom cues, experience boredom more strongly or with less dependence upon environmental cues, for a longer duration, and in a more consuming, aversive, or overwhelming way.
More on living with borderline personality disorder here... Some of the key signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are: A deep fear of being abandoned or unloved by those close to you. Difficulty in creating and maintaining a sense of self.
Not only is BPD one of the most painful mental illnesses, but it's also intensified by stigma and being misunderstood by others. Fortunately, borderline personality disorder is a treatable condition, and the pain doesn't have to be endless.
Many people with BPD have been through trauma and a huge amount of invalidation which can create the feeling of being 'too much', 'too sensitive' and 'too difficult to love'.
FP is someone who individuals with BPD often hold in the highest regard trust with their life, and are heavily emotionally attached to and dependent on [19]. They often unintentionally put their entire self-worth into the relationship with their FP, thereby making frantic efforts to prevent their FP from leaving.
Fear of Abandonment
Physical touch can be interpreted as a sign of intimacy and closeness. For someone with BPD, who struggles with a fear of abandonment, touch might stir up feelings of vulnerability and fear, leading to avoiding physical contact.
People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.
People with BPD often engage in self-sabotaging behavior. This can include: Oversharing.
There are different triggers for everyone, but medical marijuana is often recommended for those who have trouble sleeping or need to calm down due to high-stress levels. The best strain for borderline personality disorder is cannabis sativa since it helps ease anxiety and boost mood.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
Some people with quiet BPD can hide their condition and appear successful, independent, and overall high functioning. You might be able to hold a job during the day, but crash into a depressive, anxious, or dissociative state when the day is over. Think of quiet BPD as a mask.
High-Functioning BPD Symptoms
Those experiencing high-functioning BPD often alternate between pushing people away and pulling them in closer, and may similarly fall into patterns of idealizing and then devaluing others. They tend to exhibit quick switches in emotions, such as going from very happy to very irritated.
Your family member or loved one with BPD may be extremely sensitive, so small things can often trigger intense reactions. Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.
It is important to remember that while having a relationship with a person with BPD can be challenging, they are not intentionally trying to hurt you. Rather, they lack the ability to understand and cope with their emotional pain, which causes them to act in ways that hurt others.
Those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can portray themselves as the victim and their partner as the villain who becomes blamed for the problems. Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them.
An inherent aspect of those with BPD is the drive to self-destruct, which acts as a chain to block them from success. They may act on the false belief that self-destruction will give them what they want.