Lying also can lead to: Depression and anxiety. "When people lie to avoid dealing with emotions or problems, the same problems continue to occur and get worse. It just makes for more emotional work.
Lying allows a person to establish perceived control over a situation by manipulating it. It's a defence mechanism that (seemingly) prevents them from being vulnerable, that is, to not open up and reveal their true self to another person.
They alter our reality, reframing it through the agenda of the person who doesn't want the truth to come out. Being lied to makes you feel insecure – your version of the truth is discredited. It also makes you feel unimportant – the person lying to you didn't value you enough to tell the truth.
Even little fibs can have serious consequences — and some of them just might surprise you. Like Pinocchio, everyone sometimes tells a lie. Most people don't lie often, science finds. But research shows that even small lies can take a toll on your brain.
A habitual liar may feel extreme stress from keeping track of their falsehoods. They may struggle to live up to their own claims. If their lies are exposed, their relationships will likely grow strained. In some cases, they may face legal consequences.
Over a long period, deception can eat away at our self-esteem. Ordinary guilt that could be reversed with honesty now becomes shame and undermines our fundamental sense of dignity and worthiness as a person. The gap between the self we show others and how we feel inside widens.
Guilt is most likely when the liar shares values and respects the target of the lie. It is much harder to lie or cheat someone who has acted fairly. But if the wages are too low, the spouse cold and inconsiderate, the parent too strict – the liar may feel entitled to cheat, and feel no guilt about doing so.
Previous studies have demonstrated that lying can undermine memory and that its memory-undermining effects could be modulated by the cognitive resources required to tell lies.
Why is lying toxic? By telling a loved one a lie, they will feel betrayed by you and it is this feeling of betrayal that can lead to a breakdown in communication, making them feel even more vulnerable than they already are! Love doesn't hurt but lies do; and the moment you start telling lies, it is no longer love.
Whether you decide to call a lie or to let it go, once you know you're dealing with a liar, it's critical to take steps to protect yourself. One way to do that is to have a witness attest to what the liar said. Failing this, interact with the liar via email or text, both of which create a written record.
Every relationship is built on mutual trust, whether that relationship it is romantic or not. Lying quickly erodes that trust, hurting both parties in the process. Whether it is keeping secrets or telling a little white lie, lying destroys one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy relationship — trust.
The main reason people lie is low self-esteem. They want to impress, please, and tell someone what they think they want to hear. For example, insecure teenagers often lie to gain social acceptance. Here, parents should emphasize to their children the consequences of lying.
People who lie repeatedly often have a desire to be in control. When the truth of a situation doesn't agree with such control, they produce a lie that does conform to the narrative they desire. Such people may also worry they won't be respected if the truth can leave them looking poorly.
If you or someone you know has symptoms of pathological lying, it's important to get help. A therapist can make a treatment plan to control pathological lying. With time and work, a pathological liar can minimize the effects that their behavior has on themselves and their loved ones.
Even repetitive lying to a partner can be a form of abuse, since a survivor may begin to doubt their own experiences and instincts, becoming brainwashed into believing anything their abuser says.
You can't always change the behavior of a liar, but you can change how you feel and react to them. Once you learn to change your emotions about a situation you begin to see a lot more options. If you are honest with the situation you will realize that your happiness is more important than their behavior anyways.
The bottom line. It's possible to rebuild a relationship after a breach of trust. Whether it's worth it depends on your relationship needs and whether you feel it's possible to trust your partner again. If you do decide to try repairing things, be prepared for things to take some time.
Pathological lying, also known as mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is the chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying. Unlike telling the occasional white lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings or getting in trouble, a pathological liar seems to lie for no apparent reason.
When you commit to never lying you become much more accountable for your actions. You don't do things you'd be embarrassed or ashamed of because you know you need to take ownership of them. There is no easy fix for something you're not proud of. You can't lie remember!
Liars must remember what they say, and also monitor how plausible they seem, the depth of detail they offer, even how confident they appear to the listener. And if the listener doesn't seem to be buying it, they must adapt the story accordingly.
Pathological lying is a symptom of various personality disorders, including antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders. Other conditions, such as borderline personality disorder, may also lead to frequent lies, but the lies themselves are not considered pathological.