Several things can drive controlling behavior. The most common are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People with anxiety disorders feel a
A control freak is usually driven by the urge that they want everything to be done in a way that they feel is correct. These people avoid mistakes in their own life and as such have a high need to correct others in case they find anything wrong.
Don't try to control a control freak.
Judith Orloff advises, "Be healthily assertive rather than controlling. Stay confident and refuse to play the victim. Most important, always take a consistent, targeted approach." Control freaks love a good power struggle; playing into it never ends well.
They are terrified of failure, particularly their own and of being unable to fathom the consequences when things go wrong. There is a core of fearfulness or anxiety about their own limitations (often unexplored), a worry about not being respected and a distrust in the ability of others to do what they ask of them.
Type C personalities tend to be quite controlling, both of themselves and others. They don't like things to get out of hand and may appear stoic because they don't really want themselves to display a lot of emotion.
Control seekers are often obsessive-compulsive, angry (either overt or passive-aggressive), phobic, or even mood-disordered. These people need control because, without it, they fear things would spiral out of control and their lives would fall apart.
Control freaks rarely know that they are one. They believe that they are helping people with their "constructive criticism" or taking over a project because "no one else will do it right." They don't see their controlling behaviors as symptoms of what's really going on--their own anxiety has run amuck.
Set boundaries
You don't always have to say “no” to a controlling person; after all, there may be times when his or her opinion is helpful and sound. But constantly agreeing just to keep the peace will only reinforce the controlling behavior and establish it as the norm.
In psychology, control is a person's ability or perception of their ability to affect themselves, others, their conditions, their environment or some other circumstance. Control over oneself or others can extend to the regulation of emotions, thoughts, actions, impulses, memory, attention or experiences.
Controlling behaviors can develop due to several different factors. However, the most common drivers of control issues are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People who have anxiety disorders feel like they need to control things around them so that they can appease their anxiety.
Yes, a controlling person is usually insecure. Controlling behavior is frequently the outcome of the controller's anxiety or insecurity. They control people to exert control over their environment in an effort to feel better rather than developing good coping mechanisms.
Causes of Controlling Behavior
The most common are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People with anxiety disorders feel a need to control everything around them in order to feel at peace. They may not trust anyone else to handle things the way they will.
Consider that the know-it-all may display this personality trait because of a deep-seated insecurity and lack of confidence. Some people who feel inferior try to act superior as a defensive mechanism.
Having a controlling personality is not considered to be a personality disorder; however, contemporary psychodynamic theory and practice see DMS-V personality disorders as being environmental as opposed to purely psychiatric (biological and physiological) conditions.
Controlling behavior and manipulation are toxic and don't align with what open and honest communication is all about—which is necessary for a healthy relationship. If you ever feel unsafe due to someone else's behavior, trust your gut and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
The ESTJ – Being too Bossy
They see what needs to be fixed, what needs to be done, and they usually have no problem telling other people how to get those things done or doing it themselves.
What is a Type D personality? The D Personality Style tends to be direct and decisive, sometimes described as dominant. They would prefer to lead than follow and tend towards leadership and management positions.
Narcissists are self-obsessed and control others for their personal gain; they're notorious for using a few specific tactics for getting and maintaining this control. First, narcissists guarantee success by targeting codependents: They also try to make others feel special using compliments and flattery.
A controlling relationship is one where one partner dominates the other in an unhealthy, self-serving manner. If your partner constantly makes you feel intimidated, insecure, or guilty, you could be in a controlling relationship. And control in a relationship is a form of abuse.
“Being a control freak is a weakness, not a strength. If you can't allow others to shine, you're exhibiting signs of narcissism and showing a lack of self-confidence. It is isolation through ego.”
Particularly in chronic trauma—continued exposure to domestic violence, abuse of any form, war, poverty, and others—victims usually reported that they felt powerless to stop or change their circumstances. Victims of chronic trauma may lose the ability to make decisions in their lives.