When the person with NPD meets someone with BPD, they can tend to use them to fulfil their need for validation, often at the expense of the BPD sufferer's boundaries and feelings. This insatiable need for attention coupled with the heightened emotions of BPD to make a volatile mix.
But, people with Borderline Personality and Narcissistic Personality Disorders can find one another attractive and may actually forge more stable relationships with one another, at times, than they can with people without personality disorders.
According to Elinor Greenberg, PhD, “Borderline and Narcissistic individuals often fall in love because they are at approximately the same level with regard to their “Intimacy Skills.” They both are likely to be in the early stages of learning how to successfully maintain intimate relationships.
Narcissists and Borderlines Form Intense, Quick Attachments
Narcissists and Borderline individuals also have something else in common that makes them likely to choose each other: they both can quickly form intense romantic attachments based on very little information about the other person.
The children of Narcissistic parents who develop personality disorders (and not all do) generally become either Narcissistic or Schizoid. A few develop Borderline Personality Disorder.
The Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a case of a failed narcissistic solution. In BPD, the patient is aware that the solution that she opted for is "not working". This is the source of her separation anxiety (fear of abandonment).
A borderline narcissist can be described as a person who has BPD and narcissistic traits or co-occurring NPD. In such cases, the BPD individual presents with an unstable sense of self or disconnect from self, poor self-esteem, hypersensitivity to criticism, defensiveness, and feelings of insecurity.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.
Furthermore, many people who have been in a romantic relationship with someone with BPD describe their partner as fun, exciting, and passionate. Many people are initially drawn to people with BPD precisely because they have intense emotions and a strong desire for intimacy.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
The answer is 100% YES. I believe about 80% of those diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are actually are suffering from CPTSD from Narcissistic Abuse with abandonment issues.
Series Alex also struggles with her identity, a common symptom of BPD.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.
If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you: Consistent need for reassurance. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
When the person with NPD meets someone with BPD, they can tend to use them to fulfil their need for validation, often at the expense of the BPD sufferer's boundaries and feelings. This insatiable need for attention coupled with the heightened emotions of BPD to make a volatile mix.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
It's a technique often used by those with narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorders to deflect any responsibility from themselves. The victim of gaslighting often asks “what did I do?” and finds themselves eventually questioning and second guessing everything they do.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.