Did you know that the silent treatment literally hurts? It happens when your partner decides that he doesn't want to continue the heated discussion or argument that the two of you are having. And he just cuts it off by not talking to you for an extended period of time.
Silence is used as a weapon to cut off meaningful conversations, stop the flow of information, and ultimately hurt the other person. In fact, research shows that ignoring or excluding someone activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.
Silence is a potent vessel of wisdom. And its potency can be much greater than the power of words. It's in silence that we hear the call of the dreams of our hearts clearer and louder. A call that steers us to our destiny, if we have the courage and confidence to answer it.
While using silence sometimes is just a short-term way to cool down, the silent treatment becomes a problem when it's used as a deliberate strategy to inflict pain and establish control. That treatment is never okay.
Many abuse survivors say they hated the silent treatment more than the insults or yelling. When they were shouted at, at least they knew what was on the abuser's mind, and could better assess their own and their children's safety. Stone-cold silence can reinforce feelings of vulnerability and fear.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
Why is using silent treatment in a relationship so effective? Because it helps you to reach a compromise often. If one person falls silent and disengages from the argument this not only helps in breaking away from the cycle of angry arguments it also helps to open a dialogue and reach a compromise.
Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don't exist.
Silence is the power to mindfully choose to stay out of the negative space, and not to say hurtful words back. It takes true strength to hold your tongue and not succumb to negative energy. With time and practice, it will become easier and easier to ignore negative comments and continue on happily with your day.
During an argument, taking a moment of silence can allow both parties to calm down and collect their thoughts. This can prevent the situation from escalating and allow for a more productive conversation. Additionally, silence can be used to show empathy and understanding.
Writing like so many creative acts is hard. Sitting there, staring, mad at yourself, mad at the material because it doesn't seem good enough and you don't seem good enough.
The silent treatment, even if it's brief, activates the anterior cingulate cortex – the part of the brain that detects physical pain.
Silence is the loudest sound in the universe, because it's the only thing that makes you stop and look around. Because silence is what we all fear. But silence is the sound of the soul.
When you give someone the silent treatment, you are showing them that they are insignificant, unworthy and unlovable. It can greatly deplete their self-esteem, leaving serious consequences. It can cause physical issues as well.
Silence intensifies the impact of trauma, and trauma that goes unspoken, un-witnessed, and unclaimed too often "outs itself" as more violence to self or others.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
Just as our own chaotic thoughts can induce feelings of stress and anxiety, so to can the words of other people if we don't know how to remain silent whilst listening. Silence allows us to take a step back from whatever we're seeing or hearing, and observe from a calm and rational perspective.
Being silent allows us to channelise our energies. It gives us the clarity to face adversities calmly and think clearly. Intentional silence also cultivates more awareness within us.
Health and Wellness
Studies show that silence can actually stimulate new cell growth in the brain, improve memory, and release tension in the brain and body. In fact, a study in the journal Heart concluded that two minutes of silence is more effective in relieving physical tension than listening to relaxing music.
There's a great quote from Eastern philosophy: “Silence is the most powerful scream.” We often talk about the importance of expressing ourselves, engaging in conflict and making our presence known—but the purposeful use of silence can also be a powerful tool for getting our message across.
They're Incredibly Self-Aware
Another reason why people with a silent nature are successful is their amazing sense of well, self-awareness. You can guarantee that they are perfectly aware of their shortcomings, their talents, and what they're capable of.
Silence is a form of communicative power, which can be used beneficially or as a way to hurt someone else. When you choose not to respond to someone, you show that person that he or she does not have full control, and your actions are not dictated by anyone but yourself.
The silent treatment can be used to manipulate and control the other person by making them feel guilty or ashamed. The silent treatment is often used as a form of punishment or as a way to control the conversation. It can also be used as a form of emotional blackmail.
Using the silent treatment is an unproductive way of communicating within a relationship. It can sometimes be a form of self-protection, but at other times, it indicates emotional abuse. People who regularly use or experience the silent treatment should take steps to address it.
It's OK if you just need some time to “cool off”. But intentional and prolonged silent treatment is a form of social ostracism that can cause severe emotional and even physical harm. It's a form of punishment and is usually employed by toxic or narcissistic individuals.