In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them. Unfortunately, if that person is busy—or if conflict emerges—anger and fear of abandonment often become triggered. 1. Find a supportive therapist that can help with BPD.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
How to Deal with Being a “Favorite Person” for Someone with BPD. As a favorite person, you'll be expected to provide near-constant companionship, reassurance, and guidance, which is daunting and taxing. It's important to note that while “favorite-person” relationships can be unhealthy, they're not doomed to fail.
You do not have to have a favorite person to be diagnosed with BPD, and this type of relationship can also occur with other types of personality disorders.
Of course you can. In my experience, “favorite people” are very much like what would be considered anxious attachments. You don't have to have a full-blown personality disorder to experience it.
If you are always worried the person you idolize might leave you or no longer love you, this is a clear symptom of FP. People with FP often feel like they are not good enough and will be abandoned if they are not perfect.
FP is someone who individuals with BPD often hold in the highest regard trust with their life, and are heavily emotionally attached to and dependent on [19]. They often unintentionally put their entire self-worth into the relationship with their FP, thereby making frantic efforts to prevent their FP from leaving.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
At first, a favorite person may seem like a “savior” for the individual with BPD. They often believe this person is perfect, and they will inherently idolize them. As a result, they may feel euphoric when spending time together and often miss them deeply when they are apart.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem.
With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.
People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections. As a result, people with BPD tend to be very passionate partners.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
Your family member or loved one with BPD may be extremely sensitive, so small things can often trigger intense reactions. Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.
People with BPD often engage in self-sabotaging behavior. This can include: Oversharing.
They may try to bait you into anger, then falsely accuse you of rejecting them, make you doubt reality and your sanity. It's not unusual for them to cut off friends and relatives who they feel have betrayed them.
Fact: People with BPD are capable of giving and receiving love. People with BPD have a lot of difficulty in relationships, but that doesn't mean they're incapable of love.
The effects of untreated borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be devastating. For example, the physical and mental health impact of this disorder is so severe that life expectancy among people who have BPD is about 20 years less than the national average.
Emotional reactions, such as sadness, shock and disbelief, anger or resentment (including anger that the person has abandoned you), feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, panic, irritability, denial, relief, guilt (including guilt that you survived or that you could not save the person who died), feeling you do not ...
Someone with BPD might also push someone away in order to “test” whether the person will stay with them or come back to them after being pushed away.
The BPD person's Favorite Person is the one they focus all their attention on and invest in emotionally. Their mood, plans, and persona become centered on this person, and their fear of losing them can lead to intense, inappropriate, and even suffocating relationships.
Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
Many people who struggle with BPD symptoms report intense feelings of emotional sensitivity that are difficult to manage and control. This experience can be exhausting and scary, as well as isolating. Everyone experiences BPD symptoms in a unique way.