“We all know someone who is friendly, easily talks to anyone, and has a way of leaving an interaction with the other person feeling extra good about themselves — this is an example of innocent flirtation,” Kotlarski indicates. “It is really about the intent behind the interaction.”
Innocent flirting is a lighthearted and playful form of social interaction that involves casual, friendly banter, compliments, and teasing without any serious intent or expectation to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship.
Healthy flirting is fun, frivolous, entertaining and makes everyone laugh and feel good. It makes people feel focussed on, important, attractive and in general it has a strong positive and playful vibe to it.
Healthy flirting respects boundaries, unhealthy flirting takes what it wants. We've already outlined that unhealthy flirting is all about the person doing the flirting with no thought or concern for the person at the receiving end. In healthy flirting, however, boundaries are recognized, acknowledged, and respected.
Thus, flirting can even improve a couple's sexual life. In other words, flirting can be good for your mental health and your relationship. And yes, flirting can be innocent and harmless (although there are exceptions).
For the person flirting without intent, they usually know that they have no desire for a sexual or meaningful relationship from the activity… it is 'just a bit of harmless fun'. Of course, they may not even realise they are actually flirting, they are just being 'friendly' in their mind.
Deliberately Touching Someone
Yet, frequently and purposely touching someone in a provocative way–like caressing their hand or giving them a tight and lingering hug–is inappropriate flirting, and implies a romantic/sexual interest, particularly when there's attraction between either party.
In a research project, Jeffrey Hall, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas defined five flirting styles; playful, traditional, physical, sincere and polite.
1. Flirty: When a person is flirting with you, they might make prolonged eye contact with you. They will look deep into your eyes and will stare at you till you become slightly self-conscious. Friendly: If they are simply being friendly, they will look at you equal amounts of time as they look at others.
Indulging in flirting is actually good for you. Flirting can be defined as engaging someone for amorous intent or just playfully for amusement. You might flirt via text with emojis and inside jokes.
They draw the line: Natural flirts know when and where to stop. They will not lead someone on unnecessarily or give them the wrong idea about their real feelings and cause heartache or heartbreak, neither will they come on too strong and make you want to run for your dear life.
Physical flirting involves using touch or body language to express attraction and create a sense of intimacy. Examples include playful touches, hugs, or leaning in closer during conversations. This form of flirting can be very effective when used appropriately and with respect for boundaries.
Subtle flirting involves using discreet, understated gestures or verbal cues to signal interest and attraction without being overt or aggressive. Subtle flirting can help create intrigue and maintain a sense of mystery during the early stages of a flirtatious interaction.
Flirting in your head could inadvertently turn to flirting for real if the other person picks up on the cues you believed to be ever-so-subtle.
The most common flirting style is the physical touch, where individuals try to establish a physical connection with their partner. It could be a gentle touch on the hand or arm, a playful nudge, or a light pat on the back. Another flirting style that people commonly use is playful teasing.
The hallmarks of flirting are surprisingly universal. Women often smile, arch their eyebrows and widen their eyes, tuck their chin down and turn slightly to the side, toss their hair, put their hands near their mouth, and laugh. Men, for their part, often arch their back, stretch their chest, and laugh as well.
Platonic flirting is flirting with a platonic friend, with no intention of romance, and no desire for sex. You might find yourself giving your platonic friend compliments, touching their arm, or giggling with them. This can be natural and harmless, as long as both parties feel comfortable.
For some, flirting can be deemed cheating when one partner is overly friendly with someone else, especially if this breaks previously agreed upon rules. For others, flirting is considered crossing the line into cheating when it risks turning into a physical or emotional affair.
Micro cheating refers to acts of seemingly trivial, inappropriate behaviors that occur outside of one's devoted relationship, often done unintentionally.