Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
Jealousy breeds suspicion, doubt, and mistrust, which can snowball into pretty intense emotions and behaviors, he says. We may become preoccupied with the fear of betrayal. We might start checking up on our friend or partner constantly, trying to “catch them.” We might become possessive of that person.
Jealousy comes out of a lack of trust; lack of trust in the process of life, in your partner, in yourself. Lack of trust breeds insecurity, which creates jealousy; we stifle these feelings because they are uncomfortable.
Jealousy and envy are highly related. They are the result of the toxic combination of anxiety-based insecurity, anger, and an obsession with comparing oneself to others (often very poorly).
Jealous delusions result from a mental health condition called delusional jealousy, which itself has connections to other mental conditions, like schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, and personality disorders.
Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it's true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others.
THE BASICS
The emotion of jealousy is a derivative of shame. It informs us of an obstacle to the connection between ourselves and a loved one, alerting us to a threat to the relationship. The potential disconnection experienced in jealousy often involves a social comparison.
Jealousy emerged most intensely in the majority of children between approximately 1.1 and 2.3 years and at 3.5 years children distinguished between social situations which elicit jealousy. These findings are related to the cognitive developmental theories of Case et al. (1988) and Fischer et al. (1989).
Your Heart. According to Jonathan Dvash, neuroscientist at the University of Haifa, the sympathetic nervous system buckles under the stress of jealousy, quickening the heart and spiking blood pressure.
In a weird way, jealousy can be used as a “red flag” to “encourage you to do a little self-exploration.” That is, if you can acknowledge it before it becomes toxic to your relationship. Degges-White says, "Simply put, jealousy is motivated by fear.
15 (HealthDay News) -- With a reputation as the "love hormone," oxytocin has been linked to trust, empathy and generosity. But new research suggests that oxytocin plays a role in jealousy and gloating as well.
Jealousy was 29% heritable, and non-shared environmental influences explained the remaining variance. The magnitude and sources of genetic influences did not differ between the sexes.
The three interrelated components of the jealousy experience are cognitions, emotions, and behaviors.
Jealousy can stem from feelings of insecurity, especially if you have an insecure attachment style. One 2017 study found that attachment styles and jealousy are closely related. According to this same study, insecurity and jealousy may also be associated with: low self-esteem.
Feeling jealous doesn't necessarily make you immature or insecure. However, a consistent feeling of intense jealousy for your partner is definitely a sign of emotional immaturity.
Low self-esteem can give rise to jealousy and insecurity in a relationship. You may question your worthiness to your partner, and believe it is a fluke they like you. As such, it is normal for people with low self-esteem to expect their partner may be attracted to someone else or fear they will leave the relationship.
The cause usually lies in childhood
Many of the highly jealous people have experienced attachments as insecure in their childhood. Even as adults, they constantly fear being abandoned. This fear is so dominant that it manifests itself in delusions of control and jealousy.
In healthy humans evoked jealousy is accompanied by increased activation in the basal ganglia, and frontal lobe, particularly vmPFC, with exaggerated jealousy also being associated with increased interpersonal aggression (Harmon-Jones et al., 2009; Sun et al., 2016).
Research shows that jealousy is often fueled by insecurity, not love for a partner. The best way to deal with a jealous partner may be to reassure them of your affection. Working on your own confidence and having good communication with your partner are key to coping with jealousy.