Signs of Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Narcissists Passive-aggressive behavior can come in many forms, including: Indirect hostility (backhanded compliments) Silent treatment to purposely cause discomfort. Purposeful lack of communication. Sulking.
The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.
For example, a person engaged in overt aggression might attend a family gathering and be rude or hostile, while a person engaged in passive aggression might avoid the family gathering altogether or attend and give people the “silent treatment.” Passive aggression is often vindictive.
Passive-aggressiveness is a behavior where people tend to avoid direct conflict and express their anger indirectly through sulking, procrastination, withdrawal, stubbornness, controlling, and sabotaging tasks (1).
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Common examples of narcissistic abuse include: Withholding: This may include withholding such things as money, sex, communication, or affection from you. Emotional blackmail: Emotional blackmail is another form of manipulation to make you feel fear, guilt, or doubt.
Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
People with NPD have a grandiose sense of self. They typically feel like they're important — and often more important than others. They commonly seek out attention and aim to be the center of everyone's attention, often putting themselves before others. But at its core, NPD is defined by a lack of empathy for others.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
Fear of conflict:
People may be afraid of how the other person will react if they express themselves openly. Difficulty expressing emotions: Some people may find it difficult to express anger or frustration, so they resort to passive aggression as a way of venting their feelings.
Passive-aggressive personality disorder (PAPD) causes people to express negative feelings and emotions subtly or passively rather than directly. This often creates a contradiction between what they say and do.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
Victims of narcissistic abuse develop coping mechanisms to survive. But once the abuse has ended, their coping mechanisms may turn maladaptive. Over-focusing on others' needs, failing to set boundaries, or doing anything in exchange for kindness may pave the way for maltreatment or abuse.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Narcissists tend to be incapable of something called "object constancy," which means they struggle to have positive feelings at the same time as negative ones. Once they are fired up for a fight, they can be incredibly cruel, because all they can comprehend in the moment are feelings of resentment and anger.
The silent treatment can often be used when the person doesn't have the tools to respond differently. When faced with the triggering of strong feelings, they may not know what else to do — so they go quiet. It can also be a passive-aggressive response to avoid directly communicating how (hurt) they feel.
Passive-aggressive communication seeks to control the emotions of others and thereby, control their behavior. Typically, this communication style seeks to express anger in an indirect manner. By doing so the individual is able to deny all responsibility for the anger yet they score a direct hit on their target.
Gestures and facial expressions are used to undercut any 'pleasant' words spoken by the passive-aggressive person. Notice the small actions they use to express disdain– for example sneering or rolling their eyes when you talk. Also pay attention to a passive-aggressor's voice tone.