Avoidant personality disorder (AVPD), as conceptualized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (DSM-5), is characterized by extensive avoidance of social interaction driven by fears of rejection and feelings of personal inadequacy.
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by feelings of extreme social inhibition, inadequacy, and sensitivity to negative criticism and rejection. Yet the symptoms involve more than simply being shy or socially awkward.
Researchers don't completely understand what causes avoidance personality disorder, but they believe it is a combination of genetics and environmental factors. Early traumatic experiences and childhood neglect may be linked to the development of AVPD.
Someone with an avoidant personality disorder will appear shy and timid. But this is much more than just being 'shy'. You may avoid people because you feel inferior, even though you really want to have company. You are very sensitive to judgements by others and fear rejection.
Because of this emotional distancing, they tend to be less empathic toward people in need (Joireman, Needham, & Cummings, 2001; Wayment, 2006). Further, avoidant people tend to respond negatively to their partner's emotions because those emotions can signal that they need more attention and intimacy.
These individuals will let you be around them, but will not let you in. They tend to avoid strong displays of closeness and intimacy. As soon as things get serious, dismissive/avoidant individuals are likely to close themselves off. At this point, such people might try to find a reason to end a relationship.
This may seem like a paradox: avoidant personality disorder is characterized by a fear of not being good enough whereas narcissistic personality prompts an image of a grandiose person believing he or she can do no wrong.
For example, they may do the following: They may refuse a promotion because they fear coworkers will criticize them. They may avoid meetings. They may avoid making new friends unless they are sure they will be liked.
Avoidant Attachment Style and Narcissism. There's a significant overlap between grandiose narcissism and avoidant attachment. However, people with avoidant attachment don't necessarily believe they are superior and entitled to special treatment and unconditional admiration.
Differential diagnosis
According to the DSM-5, avoidant personality disorder must be differentiated from similar personality disorders such as dependent, paranoid, schizoid, and schizotypal. But these can also occur together; this is particularly likely for AvPD and dependent personality disorder.
You likely experience performance anxiety and feel insecure in certain interactions. If you have AVPD, however, your social fears are more ingrained in your own sense of self. Your low self-esteem and negative self-image lead you to assume that other people will dislike and reject you.
Many people with avoidant personality disorder display avoidant behaviour due to having a long-standing fear of rejection or feelings of inadequacy, which in many cases has shown to have been initiated in an early childhood environment.
AVPD is often comorbid with depression and substance abuse, and is likely to be associated with increased odds of suicidal ideation and attempts,2,6,9 explaining, perhaps in part, why AVPD may be a significant predictor of chronic depression.
The avoidant person is excited by the openness and directness of the anxious person, having not yet met their threshold for emotional exposure, and so appear open and available. The avoidant attacher also feels free to be who they are as control is not yet present from the side of the anxious attacher.
They listen to you.
For avoidants, getting close to a romantic partner—or anyone, for that matter—can be a scary thing. They tend to…well, avoid it. If your partner actively listens to you when you speak and is curious about you, it's a sign they're attached to you and they care deeply for you.
There are two types of avoidant attachment styles: dismissive-avoidant and fearful or anxious-avoidant, explains Seaside Counseling Center owner and therapist Rachel (Bauder) Cohen, MSW, LCSW.
Abuse at the hands of someone with an avoidant personality disorder often includes psychological and emotional abuse. Don't be afraid to reach out for help, pursue support groups for loved ones, seek your own therapy, separate, or leave the relationship completely. Your sanity depends on it.
Those who suffer with Avoidant Personality Disorder frequently use manipulation to get their needs met.
Those with dismissive avoidant attachment may value independence and freedom over intimacy or partnership. They may also believe that relationships can actually hinder personal growth. Those who display signs of dismissive avoidant attachment may seem “selfish” or may indeed be more selfish in pathology.
Avoidant personality disorder is part of a group of personality disorders that can have a negative effect on your life. If you have avoidant personality disorder, you may be extremely shy, unlikely to speak up in a group, have trouble in school or relationships, have low self-esteem, and be very sensitive to criticism.
Try not to interrupt their space
Avoidant partners may have spent much of their childhood alone, so they may get lost in their work, projects, or hobbies, says Jordan. “When you pop in and start conversing, it can take them a minute to recalibrate. You may see them startle or look annoyed.”
Although an avoidant may not be comfortable with affection, they still might want to be intimate. In fact, when an avoidant loves someone, they're much more able to get physically close to them. So, if you enjoy a satisfying sex life with your avoidant, it could be a sign that they're in love with you.
According to Schumann and Orehek, avoidant individuals were less likely to offer a comprehensive apology. Instead, they were defensive, prone to justify their behavior, blame the other person and make excuses. The authors' results for the anxiously attached individuals were less consistent.
People with the avoidant attachment style are more likely than secure attachers to have low levels of emotional intelligence. This is especially the case when it comes to other peoples' emotions.