Chinese couples date with marriage on their minds. There are no middle stages, no casual dates, and no one-night stands. Chinese relationships are more serious because they want it to end up in marriage when they start dating.
Unlike more westernized beliefs concerning dating, sex and sexual behavior still appear to be outwardly undesired by young Chinese adults of either sex. This conclusion is further supported by the unwillingness of both females and males to kiss on a first date.
According to a survey on the dating culture in China conducted in 2019, around 10.4 percent of the single male respondents stated that they could accept a romantic partner with an age difference of ten years. In the same survey, over half of respondents could tolerate an age difference between five and ten years.
The relationship-based culture of China values a mutually beneficial and respectful business relationship. The contract is symbolic as such. The contract signifies that personal relationships exist amongst the parties, therefore future disagreements may be negotiated.
In the teaching of Confucius, the emphasis of love locates in actions and duty of a person as a part of his society. A core concept in Confucianism is jen (仁) or ren which means benevolent love or compassion, focuses on duty, action and attitude in a relationship rather than the love itself.
我喜欢你(wǒ xǐhuān nǐ): I like you. 我爱你(wǒ ài nǐ): I love you. Both of these are very direct and commonly used ways to express love, but, “我爱你 (wǒ ài nǐ) I love you” of course conveys a stronger and deeper feeling than, “我喜欢你 (wǒ xǐhuān nǐ) I like you”.
Chinese couples tend not to show verbal affection, preferring instead to cuddle or hold hands. Reasons for this include a fear of rejection or loss of face, awkwardness and cultural traditions. Expressing love is an important gesture in any relationship.
Chinese couples date with marriage on their minds. There are no middle stages, no casual dates, and no one-night stands. Chinese relationships are more serious because they want it to end up in marriage when they start dating.
The younger generation usually does casual dating, but, in the traditional Chinese culture, when the date happens three or more times, they are likely to be interested in having a serious relationship and getting married.
Betrothal Gifts Initiate Chinese Courtship
These gifts, often called Tea Presents, included tea (of course), bridal cakes, pairs of male and female chickens, wine, tobacco, sweetmeats, and sugar. The young lady's family reciprocates with gifts of clothing and food.
Multiple reports have pointed out the trend across the country as more shift their priorities to their careers while also facing social and financial pressure to start a family. China's national average age for marriage was 28.67 in 2020, up from around 24 in 2010, according to a report on the 2020 national census.
The 1980 law also states that marriage must be a willing action where coercion by a third party is strictly not permitted. The age requirement for marriage is 22 years of age for men and 20 years of age for women and the 1980 law also encouraged late marriage and later child birth.
The applicant who will go to China for marriage registration shall apply for a single/non-marital status certificate. Legal marriage age in China is 22 or older for male and 20 or older for female.
Chinese men who are into you will generally make time to contact you frequently — if not every day, then several times a week. He'll call or text you every single evening to wish you a good night or make sure you're home safe. He'll e-mail you every day or every other day to see how you are.
So kissing is common, not a big deal," Guan Li, a university student, was quoted as saying by the outlet. "Enjoying the present is the most important thing for me. With a kissing partner, I can feel like I am kissing a person I love," she added.
The classic handshake is fine, however, if you expect more of the date and have already developed a few feelings, it's simply too formal. A good alternative is a hug. That's ok too. But it should be a friendly hug first.
Traditionally, marriages in China have been arranged between two families and often still are. In the old days, young men and women that liked one another were not allowed to meet freely together. Young people who put their wishes for a mate above the wishes of their parents were considered immoral.
The word “uncle” (叔叔 shúshu) can be used for talking about older men, while the word “auntie” (阿姨 āyí) can be used for older women. The words “older brother” (哥哥 gēge) and “older sister” (姊姊 jiějie) are also often used to express affection to people who are slightly older, especially by children.
Bad Luck in Age Difference
But in Chinese culture, there's a superstition about the age difference. It's bad luck to date or marry someone with an age difference of either 3 or 6 years from you, older or younger. So if you're 25, you shouldn't date someone who is 22 or 31.
The one-child policy (Simplified Chinese: 一孩政策) was a population planning initiative in China implemented between 1979 and 2015 to curb the country's population growth by restricting many families to a single child.
In fact, many Chinese youths believe that "Love is sweet, the reality is cruel". In Chinese concept of love, couples should sustain the relationship between husband and wife for the family although they needn't love and respect each other.
Do not touch, hug, lock arms, back slap or make any body contact. Clicking fingers or whistling is considered very rude. Never put your feet on a desk or a chair. Never gesture or pass an object with your feet.
According to Chinese customs, people do not usually express affection publicly. Hugging could be a little too much contact for comfort, especially for people who aren't very close. Many traditional parents do not often hug their children after a certain age, and most Chinese wouldn't hug someone outside their family.
4. “The five constant relationships” (五伦) refers to the five fundamental relationships in Confucian philosophy: those between ruler and subject, father and son, elder brother and younger brother, husband and wife, and friend and friend.
The public expression of love toward a spouse or romantic partner has long been discouraged in Asian cultures such as China (Lee, 2007; Kline et al., 2008). This proscription appears to be relaxing, however, with Chinese adults observed kissing and hugging, even in public.