A narcissistic mother puts herself first, but a loving mother will sacrifice her own needs to take care of her child. A narcissistic mother doesn't have time for special details because she's focused on her own needs, but a loving mother uses her creative energy to make life more comfortable for her child.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
While the narcissistic mother gets off on the power she holds over others, including her children, the controlling mother really believes that without her intervention, the children would fail at just about everything. She's motivated by fear, but masquerades her control as a form of strength.
The psychological effects of a narcissistic mother on her daughter can be long-lasting. The daughter may struggle with trust issues, abandonment issues, and self-esteem issues. She may also find it difficult to form healthy relationships due to the emotional manipulation she experienced from her mother.
“You are overreacting.” “No one will ever love you with that attitude.” “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.” “Everyone agrees that you're probably the worst person to go out with.”
Narcissistic mothers flatter people they want to impress by giving them an inordinate amount of compliments, flattery, attention, money, gifts or time — while leaving their preferred abuse target feeling left out, estranged, alienated, disrespected, unloved, unwanted, and comprehensively feeling unappreciated; the game ...
However, some studies have also pointed out that narcissistic characteristics may not only arise from childhood environments characterized by neglect/abuse, but also from environments in which a child is sheltered or overly praised [11,14,15].
Both borderline and narcissistic mothers may have difficulty appropriately parenting their children. Borderline mothers may be disorganized, over-emotional, or act more like an older sibling than a mother. Narcissistic mothers may be harsh and critical, have unrealistic standards, or use shame as a punishment.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
Narcissistic mothers tend to see their daughters both as threats and as annexed to their own egos. Through direction and criticism, they try to shape their daughter into a version of themselves or their idealized self.
It's a phenomenon called the narcissistic abuse cycle. This cycle is broken down into three important phases: idealization, devaluation, and rejection. By understanding these key points, people who are struggling with narcissism or those who are in a relationship with a narcissist can get the help they need.
The literature on the development of Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) is replete with evidence of early childhood neglect and trauma. It is now well established that chronic invalidation, criticism, and abuse by parents in early childhood are significant risk factors for NPD development.
The Secretly Mean: The secretly mean mother does not want others to know that she is abusive to her children. She will have a public self and a private self, which are quite different. These mothers can be kind and loving in public but are abusive and cruel at home.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, or disempowerment (sometimes these four typesoverlap, sometimes not) that is a favorite tactic of narcissists, and especially thosewho have a hard time with impulse control, that is, those with more infantile tendencies.
Ignoring a narcissist may result in them trying to get your attention through various means, including apologizing and begging for forgiveness or smearing you to others. If you want a narcissist to go away, you must ignore them consistently and permanently, or they will likely try to hoover you back into their life.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
As we get older, we all require more care and support from those around us. An elderly narcissist struggles greatly with the idea of looking weak or relying on others. In response to the natural aging process, they may become more hostile, more self-centered, and more inflexible.