In fact, research has shown that nearly 60% of all marriages to narcissists – male or female – end in divorce. So, what's the reason for this high rate of divorce involving this one personality type? Let's take a closer look.
Studies show that narcissists are more likely to get divorced than people who do not have a narcissistic personality disorder. However, if you can handle the challenges of being married to a narcissist and can find ways to make your relationship work, you may have a very happy marriage.
A narcissist will avoid divorce because they will have to let go of the person they think they have full control over. They feel entitled to something other than what's best for everyone. When they hear compromise, they think “unfair”. They don't know the middle road, they don't accept concessions.
They will attempt to find ways to control the ex-spouse even after the divorce is final. This is much easier to do if there are children from the marriage. A narcissist will work over-time attempting to control the ex-spouse through child support, visitation time, and co-parenting decisions.
MD. At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
According to a blog post on Psychology Today by Elinor Greenberg Ph. D.; however, you can almost never be actually happy in a relationship with one. “Once past the courtship stage, all the relationships where one person has a narcissistic personality disorder include some form of abuse and a great deal of tension.
Summary: For most people, narcissism wanes as they age. A new study reports the magnitude of the decline of narcissistic traits is tied to specific career and personal relationship choices. However, this is not true for everyone.
They WILL move on quickly because narcissists tend to view other people (including their partners) as conveniences — and once you are no longer useful, they will move on.
Divorcing a narcissist may not be easy, but staying in a toxic marriage could do more harm. Seeking legal advice is one of the best ways you can prepare to divorce a narcissistic spouse. A narcissist can wear you down emotionally and mentally.
To defend against shame.
Narcissists want a perfect image, and divorce signals the world that they have a big spot on their record. If they were to acknowledge their part in the devolution of the marriage, they would bump up against the shame of being a normal, flawed human.
Choosing To Stay With A Narcissist
Dr. Durvasula: There are so many reasons why people can't leave narcissistic relationships. Financial reasons, cultural reasons, they have children, religion, fear, anxiety, and that they still actually love the elements of this person, they want to be married.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.
It's no secret that marriages to narcissists are among the most difficult and challenging relationships out there. But what many people don't realize is that these relationships are also some of the most likely to end in divorce.
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures.
They lack self-awareness, and the maturity to own their part in things, so nothing you say will give them an epiphany. When you explain why you want a divorce, keep it general, and about your dynamic (poor communication, different values, etc.), rather than identifying your spouse as the problem. Stick to your guns.
Co-parenting with a narcissist does not exist. In divorce, narcissistic pathology manifests as a parent's preoccupation with their own needs and demands, blindness to their own children, and desired erasure of the other parent. As much as legally possible, insulate yourself and your children from this toxic monster.
THE BASICS
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
Narcissists can never really love anyone.
That's why it's important to remember that no matter how happy and loved-up they look with their new partner, it's only a matter of time before they start being belittled and insulted too. Narcissists can never really love anyone.
Narcissists can make us feel special.
If we were to lose them, we would also lose the spotlight that shines on them. We may feel resistant to leaving, because we're afraid of sacrificing the feeling of specialness we gained by being linked to them.
It is important to note that overall narcissism scores generally declined from age 18 to age 41. So, when a life experience is associated with higher levels of a facet of narcissism at age 41, it means that having this life experience led this facet of narcissism to decline less than expected.
Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.
There are no medicines specifically used to treat narcissistic personality disorder. But if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety or other conditions, medicines such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety medicines may be helpful.