The secure attachment style is the most common type of attachment in western society. Research suggests that around 66% of the US population is securely attached.
An attachment style describes how people relate to others based on how secure they feel. Fearful avoidant attachment is thought to be the rarest attachment type.
The most difficult type of insecure attachment is the disorganized attachment style.
Disorganized attachment style
Also known as fearful-avoidant attachment. Disorganized attachment is the most extreme and least common style. People with disorganized attachment can be seen to act irrationally and be unpredictable or intense in their relationships.
Dismissive/Avoidant - Avoidant attachment is typically exhibited by a rejection of intimacy and independence, however, their independence is more to avoid dependence on others rather than feeling secure. This is often considered an unhealthy attachment style.
Secure Attachment Style
Secure attachment types obviously make the best romantic partners, family members, and even friends. They're capable of accepting rejection and moving on despite the pain, but are also capable of being loyal and sacrificing when necessary.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
Which Attachment Style Is Most Manipulative? On the more extreme end of anxious attachment, a person may be more likely to become emotionally manipulative because they will go through as much as they can to make sure an attachment figure doesn't leave them.
In truth, the disorganized attachment style is considered to be the most difficult form of insecure attachment to manage – disorganized adults strongly desire love and acceptance but simultaneously fear that those closest to them will hurt them.
People with an avoidant attachment style can come across as selfish, appearing to put their own needs in front of their partner's needs. When their partner expresses feelings or needs, they might show annoyance or disdain.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
Moving on & establishing new connections. People high in attachment anxiety may be able to move on from past relationships quicker than those high in attachment avoidance. After anxious attachers process their distress, they typically feel emotionally capable of rebounding into another relationship.
Secure attachment is the healthiest form of attachment. It describes an attachment where a child feels comforted by the presence of their caregiver. Securely attached children feel protected and that they have someone to rely on.
People with an anxious/preoccupied style of attachment, who worry and fret about signs and signals that they're about to be left or betrayed, present ideal candidates for gaslighting.
Anxious attachment: These people may have not had their core needs met in childhood. They may have even been abandoned by a parent. As a result, they can be clingy, afraid of abandonment (even when there is no real threat), and preoccupied with thoughts of their partner.
About 54 percent had thought about cheating and 39 percent had actually cheated. But the correlation is the same: people with an avoidant attachment style are more likely to cheat.
The fearful attachment style was significantly associated with physical and verbal aggression. The preoccupied style was significantly associated with verbal aggression; however, dismissing attachment was significantly associated with physical aggression and anger (Table 3).
A partner with a disorganized attachment style, for example, may be prone to self-sabotage their relationships. In schema therapy, sabotaging behaviors are part of overcompensation coping modes, which can include cheating, lying, or withdrawing from their spouse as a way of coping with their own emotional distress.
Anxious attachment is what is most often referred to as codependent. Those with anxious attachment often feel as though they would like to be close to others or one person in particular but they worry that another person may not want to be close to them. They struggle with feeling inferior, never good enough.
Most divorce mediations are probably with avoidant/anxious couples. In divorce mediation with anxious/avoidant/ couples (and to a lesser extent with anxious/secure couples), the anxiously-attached spouse may be inappropriately prone to yield ground.
Individuals with fearful-avoidant attachment push people away due to an intense fear of rejection. In this case, the act of pushing people away is done out of fear and not because of trying to maintain independence.
It's usually driven by a person's insecurities, inability to trust and dependence on other people. Although anyone can do it, love bombing is most often associated with people who have an anxious or insecure attachment style or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Many research has reported a direct correlation between low self-esteem and people with insecure attachment styles both avoidant and anxious. Both these attachment styles are also predisposed to anxiety (avoidant) and depression (anxious).
“Anxious and avoidant attachment styles are related to increased feelings of loneliness, whereas individuals with secure attachment styles report lower levels of loneliness,” Lieberz said.