Humans are wired to blame. These propensities are partially psychological, driven by something called the fundamental attribution bias. We tend to believe that what people do is a reflection of who they are, rather than considering there may be other factors (social or environmental) influencing their behavior.
Often, blaming (whether blaming others or blaming yourself) stems from traumatic experiences in your past. Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse are common causes, but any traumatic experience can lead to blaming. Working with a therapist, you can uncover the underlying causes and begin to institute positive changes.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it's causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others.
Blaming can be a way for someone to avoid accepting that they have a disorder or to avoid getting help for their condition. They might fear therapy, especially if they have not had prior therapy. Other fears that can lead to avoidance of treatment include the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, or fear of failure.
Deflection is the act of blaming another person for your own mistakes or shortcomings rather than accepting the blame or criticism yourself. This type of defensiveness as a coping skill is commonly used to divert the focus or blame away from ourselves.
What Mental Illness Causes Gaslighting? Gaslighting is often used by people with narcissistic personality disorder. A person with narcissistic personality disorder has a distorted view of themselves and needs to be praised and superior to others.
Blaming is usually considered part of a defense mechanism called projection, which involves denying one's own anxiety-provoking or negative characteristics and assigning responsibility for wrong or fault to others. When we are vulnerable, we may experience anxiety, sadness, or guilt, which makes us feel powerless.
“Blame shifting is typically done when one person has a complaint or frustration, and the receiving partner finds a way to shift the blame back, taking the focus and accountability off of themselves,” explains Lindsey Ferris, a marriage and family therapist.
Blamers are people who are unwilling or unable to show empathy in situations which they find emotionally uncomfortable. They choose instead to pass their discomfort on by laying the responsibility (the blame) for the situation with others.
The instinct to blame is a toxic pattern. It deprives us of our agency, weakens our relationships, causes dysfunction in our workplaces, and creates inertia across our lives.
Tell them you disagree, but don't argue.
Instead, tell them that you don't agree with what they're saying, but do it calmly and without raising your voice so it doesn't sound like an attack. They're blaming you to try and instigate a fight—don't let them. “I'm not quite sure that's the way it happened.”
Children with ADHD may deal with their emotional pain by “externalizing”—blaming others for their problems and taking no personal responsibility. ADHD may overlap ODD with behaviors marked by: Openly defying rules at home or at school. Arguing excessively with authority figures.
Social psychology theories of stress and coping note that self-blame is a type of coping process because it involves cognitive activities that affect the relation of an individual to their goals.
Typically, blaming others is then identified with resenting or being indignant toward them and resentment and indignation are often thought of as specific forms of anger.
Manipulative behavior occurs when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can damage a person's psychological well-being.
A person with antisocial personality disorder will typically get easily frustrated and have difficulty controlling their anger. They may blame other people for problems in their life, and be aggressive and violent, upsetting others with their behaviour.
This manipulation tactic of the victim card of blaming others is a common tactic that people use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or words. By shifting the blame to others and playing the victim, manipulators are able to maintain control over a situation.
Those who are blamed experience guilt and bitterness towards themselves and others, and over time, their self-esteem drops. Blaming makes it harder to communicate with each other, trust each other, and work together.
Like other forms of psychological abuse, gaslighting can affect you even after you've cut ties from the person responsible. In fact, there are even a few long-term effects of gaslighting, from anxiety and depression to increased feelings of self-doubt and even PTSD. That being said, recovery is possible.
Stigma is when someone sees you in a negative way because of your mental illness. Discrimination is when someone treats you in a negative way because of your mental illness. Social stigma and discrimination can make mental health problems worse and stop a person from getting the help they need.
Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person's ability to manage their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.
Blaming is a defense mechanism often used by belligerent persons. It is like projection, but with a stronger and more direct edge. Blaming is when the person directly states that the other person is the reason the person with the substance use disorder must use.
These steps are lay blame, justify, shame, obligation and responsibility.