Combined with charm, many narcissists also have a way with words. They are often adept at convincing others to do things their way, or give them the resources they need. Higher functioning narcissists, in particular, may advance to certain positions in life because of their ability to influence.
Narcissists have a gift of attracting followers, and more often than not they do so with their highly developed verbal skills and articulation. The leaders are usually very skillful orators, and can deliver moving speeches. There is no dearth of charisma in a narcissistic leader.
A positive or healthy narcissist has a charismatic aura, an ability to persuade others to be awed, an outward sense of self-confidence, unconventional leadership skills, a drive to overachieve, and intellectual empathy. They are self-assured, have high self-esteem, are emotionally intelligent, and are proud achievers.
Exploiting Others. Many narcissists do not relate to others—they use them. Narcissists utilize charm, power of persuasion, or manipulation to force people to give in to unreasonable, one-sided demands or surrender their boundaries. The narcissist views this as winning and another way to feed their ego.
Participants who had high levels of narcissism were more mentally tough and resilient than participants who had low levels of narcissism. Subclinical psychopathy and Machiavellianism were largely unrelated to mental toughness and resilience.
The researchers found that while many narcissists may perceive themselves as highly intelligent, critical thinkers, they are less likely to use important reflective thinking strategies when solving problems, Therefore, the high levels of confidence they have in their intellectual abilities are often misplaced.
Cerebral narcissists, also known as intellectual narcissists, are individuals who try to fulfill their narcissistic supply through their perceived intelligence. While intellectual narcissists are generally smart, they may present as if they are more educated than they really are.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
We demonstrate that narcissism in children is cultivated by parental overvaluation: parents believing their child to be more special and more entitled than others. In contrast, high self-esteem in children is cultivated by parental warmth: parents expressing affection and appreciation toward their child.
Lowers Anxiety and Risk for Depression
People with healthy narcissistic traits have higher self-esteem, which can lower stress levels and create a baseline of general happiness.
People with a good dose of adaptive narcissism can be self-sufficient, able to assume positions of leadership, and self-confident. They seem better able to cope with anxiety, particularly in social situations.
“The results from all the studies that we conducted show that grandiose narcissism correlates with very positive components of mental toughness, such as confidence and goal orientation, protecting against symptoms of depression and perceived stress,” says Papageorgiou.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
They like people who are strong
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
A common misconception is that narcissists go for the weak, because they are easier to manipulate. In fact, narcissists prefer to try and hook someone in who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire. That way, they feel more accomplished if they succeed in tearing them down.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Narcissists' Greatest Fear
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Rejection
Rejection causes major narcissistic injury and is one of the top 10 things narcissists fear the most. They can't handle it, even if it's a tiny slight. Remember, they have a sense of entitlement and pride themselves on being the ones who reject and discard their victims.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
A narcissist views themself as better, more special, and more deserving than others. They tend to have a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), which is marked by grandiose thinking, an inflated ego, lack of empathy, and a need to be admired by all.
The root of the disorder is actually a strict resistance to feeling vulnerable with anyone at any time. Here's a lay description of how it works: The narcissist does not truly trust others in close relationships.