Narcissists tend to be incapable of something called "object constancy," which means they struggle to have positive feelings at the same time as negative ones. Once they are fired up for a fight, they can be incredibly cruel, because all they can comprehend in the moment are feelings of resentment and anger.
Narcissists love to argue (and win)
And they have a wealth of tools to aid them in this battle. Namely (though not restricted to) strawmanning, gaslighting, stonewalling and blame shifting.
Narcissists enjoy picking fights with others because negative confrontations give them an opportunity to validate their grandiose self-perception by creating scenarios where they can invalidate, devalue, degrade, humiliate, and dehumanize others, while simultaneously victimizing themselves.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
A narcissist would prefer positive attention but he'll take anything he can get. If you are willing to yell at him for a half hour he'll take it. A narcissist is not a normal human being. You can't expect normal behavior from an abnormal person.
Lying, denying, changing definitions. Here, in order to win, the narcissist uses more covert tactics. Sometimes they lie about what happened, what you or they did and didnt do, or even about whats real and factually true. Often to the degree of pure denial and delusion.
Narcissists and psychopaths are well-known for a tactic known as “baiting.” They deliberately provoke you so that you emotionally react and swallow their blameshifting hook, line, and sinker.
Narcissists have an excessive need to be in control of their environment and other people and feel entitled to their unconditional attention and admiration. When these needs are threatened, their reaction is often extreme and they either become enraged or passive-aggressive.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Narcissistic gaslighting examples of this tactic include suggesting you're “confused,” “mixed up” or “misremembering.” Alternatively, they may take the opposite approach, saying something like, “I have no memory of that” or, “I don't know what you're talking about.”
Most arguments with narcissists are a waste of time because it's not going to be possible to change their mind or get them to agree with you. Avoid them when possible.
Respond according to their actions.
If their anger becomes explosive, leave the situation to protect your own safety. Validate their feelings without going along with bad behavior; for example, say "you are entitled to feel that way." Set personal boundaries to be clear about what is acceptable behavior for you.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
They are often driven from agitation into an aggressive rage with a simple trigger. Any small play against their ego, perfectionism, or a slight action against their image of self-worth, may be enough to trigger narcissistic rage.
A narcissist may have a breakdown if their supply is cut off and they feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or out of control. Narcissistic breakdown symptoms can include rage, impulsive behaviors, or other ways of showcasing intense mental suffering.