Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
First, a partner who projects his or her jealousy onto a person may be displaying signs of narcissism. The partner may not be able to cope with the negative emotion, so he or she defends against it by “seeing” it in a mate. The partner then feels entitled to accuse and criticize the person.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
Often, the narcissist will try to cultivate friendships or acquaintanceships with people that they envy. For example, a narcissistic individual insecure about lack of financial success might strive to be surrounded with people wealthier than him or herself.
Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you. The narcissist thinks it reflects well on them to have someone special, skilled, or capable interested in them.
10) They are hurt that you've moved on
Narcissists will often not show any emotion when they see you with someone else. They won't say anything or make any comments. But that doesn't mean they're not hurting on the inside. They might be feeling sad, jealous, and even angry when they see you with someone else.
One clear sign of insecurity is when they tell stories about themselves doing amazing things or meeting famous people. A story like this can be used to show off their achievements and impress others around them. These grandiose fantasies are a way for the narcissist to feel important or special.
What they found was that the grandiose narcissists rarely used jealousy to bolster low self-esteem (they already had plenty). Instead, they were more prone to test or attempt to strengthen their relationships with jealousy in very deliberate ways. Trust test!
Individuals who are in recovery after a relationship with a narcissistic partner describe feelings of confusion, procrastination, low self-esteem, fear of failure, and worthlessness. A narcissistic abuser may use financial abuse to keep the victim trapped in the relationship.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Rejection
Rejection causes major narcissistic injury and is one of the top 10 things narcissists fear the most. They can't handle it, even if it's a tiny slight. Remember, they have a sense of entitlement and pride themselves on being the ones who reject and discard their victims.
Narcissists' Greatest Fear
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
The most common traits narcissists possess are dismissiveness, entitlement, and grandiosity—including blatant defiance of your boundaries, jealousy and resentment when someone else captures the spotlight, and outrageous expectations for how their needs should be met—while grasping for anyone to cloak them in validation ...
The narcissist stares to gain dominance over you. The stare is meant to make you feel uncomfortable and make you feel as if you are in danger or doing something wrong. The narcissist never wants you to feel comfortable in your life because it will make you much harder to control and manipulate.
Cerebral Narcissists. As discussed earlier, the word somatic relates to the body. Therefore, somatic narcissists are obsessed with their physical appearance and weight, often securing self-worth from their body image. On the other hand, cerebral narcissists gain their sense of value from their intellect.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
They feel like they need to be in control.
If they're feeling insecure in their relationship, they may cheat on their partner and manipulate another person into loving them because it makes them feel powerful. A narcissist's need for control may be due to underlying feelings of inferiority.
Narcissists often view their partners as possessions rather than individuals with their desires and needs. When they see their ex with someone else, they may feel jealous that someone else is getting what they believe is rightfully theirs.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Sociology. "Narcissists will isolate themselves, leave their families, ignore others, do anything to preserve a special [...] sense of self".
Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider. They lack a psychological trait known as Object Constancy, so they can't stay emotionally connected to someone who is not physically close.
Sooner or later, they will suck their partner dry of money, enthusiasm, self-esteem, or all three, and they discard them without looking back. That's why you should never be jealous of your narcissistic ex's new partner — they haven't changed. They aren't fixed. They aren't happier with this new person.
They Will Experience a Narcissistic Injury and Go Into a Narcissistic Rage. If a narcissist were to realize that they no longer have control over you, it could cause them to experience a narcissistic injury and fly into a narcissistic rage.