Acknowledge the person's loss and avoid saying things like “I'm glad it was you and not me.” Don't tell anyone what to do or to change his or her feelings. Don't ask anything of a bereaved person other then what you might be able to do to help.
Although you might not feel like texting is the best way to reach out to comfort someone who's grieving, sometimes it's the most appropriate way to offer your condolences. The grieving process is all-encompassing and will zap even the strongest person of their emotional and physical energy.
What to Say (and Not Say) to Comfort Someone Who’s Lost a Loved One
34 related questions found
Is it rude to text condolences?
If a family member is experiencing a loss, a text message is a great way to show your support. It lets you open the door to a phone conversation when you're ready. If you're generally worried that text message condolences are too casual, texting a family member is a great way to test the waters.
Refer to the deceased by name. Encourage the family to plan a wake, funeral and burial (even if cremated), if you are in an appropriate position to do so. Send flowers with a note (see suggestions for notes below) or offer a donation to a charity or an appropriate research organization. Acknowledge the deceased's life.
The most important help you can offer is a willing ear. Allow the bereaved person to talk and express their grief in whatever way they need. This may include crying, angry outbursts, screaming, laughing, expressions of guilt or regret, or engaging in activities that reduce their stress, such as walking or gardening.
Check in every now and then just to say hello (you may find it helpful to put reminders on your calendar). Most bereaved people find it difficult to reach out and need others to take the initiative.
You feel the most of your grief within the first 6 months after a loss. It's normal to have a tough time for the first year, Schiff says. After then, you often accept your parent's death and move on. But the grief may bubble up, especially on holidays and birthdays.
You may experience the following grief reactions: Intense shock, confusion, disbelief, and denial, even if your child's death was expected. Overwhelming sadness and despair, such that facing daily tasks or even getting out of bed can seem impossible.
There is no set length or duration for grief, and it may come and go in waves. However, according to 2020 research , people who experience common grief may experience improvements in symptoms after about 6 months, but the symptoms largely resolve in about 1 to 2 years.
When someone is dying, their heartbeat and blood circulation slow down. The brain and organs receive less oxygen than they need and so work less well. In the days before death, people often begin to lose control of their breathing. It's common for people to be very calm in the hours before they die.
Expressing your sympathy. There is never anything wrong with acknowledging a loss and saying you're sorry. In fact, the two words “I'm sorry” are the beginning of the phrase, “I'm sorry for your loss.”
