Some have to do with specific changes within a person over time that has altered their attraction to their partner. If you were relatively young when you got together with your partner, you might find that the attraction you had at the outset for them has faded as result of your own personal growth and maturity.
It is true that many people manage to stay together with little to no physical attraction. Severe health issues notwithstanding, some of these people are engaged in child-centered marriages or they've found a way to sublimate their sexual desire via work, sports, or even substance dependence.
In some cases, love can wane because one or both partners "let go" of their physical appearance. In some cases, attraction begins to dissipate because partners no longer make one another a priority. In still others, attraction wanes without a distinct, identifiable source, and couples find themselves growing apart.
First, it's important to understand that losing sexual attraction happens to most couples as we move on with our normal life. Dr. Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of How To Be Happy Partners: Working It Out Together, tells SheKnows that decreased attraction “is very common as time passes in relationships.”
The lack of adequate communication can lead to loss of attraction. Failure to share activities – As your relationship lasts, you tend to fall into a routine and stop sharing new adventures with your partner. This lack of fresh activities can lead to you starting to lose attraction to your significant other.
In fact, couples therapists say that feeling is quite common. “Loss of attraction tends to develop over time when partners no longer share new or exciting experiences,” says Rebecca Phillips, a therapist in Frisco, TX. “When you're no longer curious about your partner, you can feel stagnant and bored.”
Your husband may be dealing with a declining sex drive, which occurs naturally with age. This may mean that you need to make extra effort to reignite the spark between the two of you. Another reason for the loss of attraction could include poor communication between the two of you.
He is no longer affectionate with you, physically or verbally. He no longer makes sweet or romantic gestures toward you. He doesn't say "I love you" anymore. He still says "I love you," but something about it feels hollow or forced, like he's just going through the motions.
Issues in a marriage that may arise include infidelity, disagreements over finances, lack of communication, unresolved conflict, unrealistic expectations, or lack of intimacy. Falling out of love is a common reason for divorce. This usually involves more than just two people no longer finding each other attractive.
If you have formed a relationship with someone you have never been physically attracted to, it is best to gently confront the person. Denying this deficit often results in more destructive behaviors, like having an affair or rejecting your partner in bed.
Loss of attraction and intimacy is a common sign before divorce. Most marriages start with attraction that then leads to intimacy. A loss of attraction and therefore intimacy is the second sign you are ready for divorce.
There Is No Emotional Intimacy Between You
Over time you become disengaged, spending more time alone, at work, with the kids, or with other friends than you do with your spouse. The two of you become more like roommates and co-parents rather than a married couple.
Besides no longer getting excited to spend time together, you may find yourself flat-out avoiding your partner. You may stay late at work, see movies or eat dinner by yourself, or even take the long way home to avoid being with your partner for a moment longer than you have to.
According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.
Common causes for a loss of sexual desire and drive in women include: Interpersonal relationship issues. Partner performance problems, lack of emotional satisfaction with the relationship, the birth of a child, and becoming a caregiver for a loved one can decrease sexual desire. Sociocultural influences.
Cheating in any form or circumstance can never be justified. And that includes infidelity in a sexless relationship. The fact that the word relationship is still there despite the lack of intimacy means that you must remain committed to your partner.
If there's abuse, drug use or alcoholism, infidelity, or a plain inability to overcome the past – then a divorce may be the better option. And, while separation is a viable option, it can put you at risk if your spouse is taking advantage of you financially.
Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope and even look elsewhere for the excitement of newfound intimacy.