If they don't have a registry, a practical keepsake is always a safe bet, think glass or barware, a beautiful bowl, cutlery, a cake slice, a blanket, a picnic basket or an oven dish. Coffee table books or art prints are a more contemporary choice.
The easiest route would be just to send a gift from the couple's registry, but if you'd prefer to send cash or a check, you can totally do so. We recommend spending around $50 on a gift if you're not attending the wedding, though you should spend a bit more if you're a close friend or relative of the couple.
Since you're not actually attending the wedding, it's acceptable to spend slightly less on a gift than you would if you were attending in person. A card accompanied by a small gift will more than suffice.
Make It Up to the Couple
Although you likely have a viable reason for missing the wedding, you may still feel guilty about the circumstances. Following up with a heartfelt note or phone call is essential. Make sure to express your apologies and avoid pestering the bride and groom with a series of excuses.
You can work within that range at your discretion. For family or someone close to you, $75 to $100 and even as high as $150 is perfect. Then if you're going as a couple, it's routine to double the amount or keep it at $200.
The average wedding gift amount hovers right around $100, which is a great place to start, and you can increase or decrease that based on how close you are.
While the amount you should gift a couple depends on a number of factors, data from The Knot reveals that U.S. wedding guests spend an average of $160 on cash gifts. "It's common to give anywhere from $100 to $1,000.
"While you should never feel obligated to attend a wedding you don't want to be a part of, think carefully if the reason you are using will hold up years later when you look back on it," Gottsman says. Once you decide to decline, you should ideally share the news in person, not through the mail.
It's always more polite to decline the invitation sooner rather than later, where possible so that the bride and groom can offer your place to someone else. Be politely apologetic, explain why you can't attend, and send a small gift if you can afford to.
When the couple are casual friends or colleagues, guests tend to give less, €50 or €100. If in doubt, €100 per guest is a pretty safe amount to go for.
While couples usually won't expressly ask for a gift when they send out invitations, it is assumed guests will bring a little somethin' somethin' with them on the big day. The only time you don't need to give a gift to the couple is if you have been invited to the wedding and you cannot attend.
“Just because you were invited to an event, you are not obligated to give a gift,” says Smith. “Gifts are given as a token of your warm wishes and should be given as such.” That being said, if you do choose to attend the wedding, or are particularly close with the couple, a gift is most certainly expected.
For a co-worker or acquaintance: $50 to $100. For a friend or relative: $75 to $150. For a close friend or relative: $150 to $250. And if you're a young person with limited budget: $50 to $75 is reasonable.
$100 to $250 is a safe range for a cash gift at a wedding
How much you give at a destination or local wedding depends on your relationship with them and your budget,” he says.
Here is a general rule of thumb: For acquaintances and coworkers, giving the couple a gift of $50 may be appropriate. However, if a guest is closer to them, they may want to aim for at least $75 to $100. If a guest has a close relationship with the couple, $200 is an excellent cash wedding gift amount.
According to folklore, a knife signifies a broken relationship and is bad luck to give as a wedding gift. If knives are on your registry, just give the gift giver a penny. That way it's a purchase, not a gift.
The wedding is the reason for the celebration that takes place after the ceremony. It isn't the other way around. You are invited to witness this important event. And to attend just the reception based on differing religious views would be rude, unless an unforeseen reason came up, such as an emergency of some kind.
The short answer to this is yes. You can absolutely say no to being a bridesmaid, maid of honour, best man or any other wedding party role. It's always your decision as to whether or not you accept the job of bridesmaid, but don't be surprised if the person who asked you is a little upset or taken aback.
“Their enjoyment of the day isn't necessarily hinged on you being there or not, so don't feel guilty about not attending. The most important thing you can do is let them know in advance so this way they're not looking for you on the day of the wedding.”
Howser recommends not gifting less than $300 if you opt to give a cash gift. The packaging also matters. "If you do give cash, it should be done in a way that's thoughtful and has a lovely presentation to it. Present it a gorgeous envelope, or maybe have the packaging calligraphed," Easton suggests.
Instead, consider your relationship with the couple and your financial means while selecting a present. For every plus one who accepted your invitation, spend 1.5–2 times as much on a present for the bridal party. The typical range for a wedding gift or wish well contribution in Australia is between AU$51 and AU$125.
THE ETIQUETTE
She offers these guidelines to wedding-goers wherever they might be: A distant relative or co-worker should give $75-$100; a friend or relative, $100-$125; a closer relative, up to $150. If you are wealthy, are you expected to inflate the gift? No, Cooper says.
We're seeing the same general amount to give for a wedding gift of cash: anywhere within the $75 to $200 range is the norm. On average, most wedding guests give a gift of around $150 to $160 as a wedding present. According to etiquette experts, though, the minimum amount is around $75.
If you received an evening invitation, a cash gift of between £20-£30 should suffice. It makes a nice gesture, without being too much. At the end of the day, it is still completely up to you.