When your spouse says hurtful things, remember to give yourself some time to cool off, communicate about the harsh words you two said, get to the bottom of why it happened and set on the journey toward resolution.
Why do we say hurtful things to those we love? People say hurtful things for different reasons, the most common being anger. People might also say hurtful things to manipulate their partners or relieve their pain to their partner's detriment.
Anger is usually the reason why people say hurtful things. Before you dissect those verbal attacks, or analyze the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of the negative behavior, it is best to understand where those words are coming from. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they are the manifestations of an intense emotion – anger.
You can let it go but your partner might not be able to. Those harsh words said in fits of anger linger. Hurtful words can have a negative impact and begin to affect intimacy. The residual effects of the harsh and aggressive words begin to cause more anger and disconnect in the relationship.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.
Words are powerful weapons and can do a lot of damage. “ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.
Key points. Often, people will utter hurtful words to others with no motive. Or, their motive could be simply to relieve their own pain. Remaining silent or strong-willed can be hard to do when one is taken by surprise by hurtful words.
To start with, many emotions go on when a man hurts you. Anger, frustration, disappointment, and resentment are a few of what a man feels when his woman is broken. The specific feeling a man has will depend on what caused the disagreement or fight in the first place.
It may be because of emotional baggage, the desire to assert control or independence, to test boundaries, or simply, because people may just expect a lot from the other. Some may have a fear of intimacy, due to cultural upbringing, or because of living through traumatic or abusive relationships.
If you're more of a hands-on person, you might take power away from hurtful words by destroying them. Write the words down on a sheet of paper. Then, you might rip the paper to shreds, toss it into a fireplace, or scratch out the words with a pencil or pen. Replace it with a positive comment.
Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. Say, “When I was talking, you (said or did this).” Don't go into a long story about what occurred or try to soften the blow by saying you know they didn't mean to be offensive. One sentence that describes your experience of their behavior is enough.
To understand how to break this pattern, you need to first understand why we say hurtful things when angry. It is because it is the easiest way to vent your frustration and pain, and it's certainly a lot easier than focusing on your issues and working on resolving them.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. A relationship is toxic when your well-being is threatened in some way—emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.
A toxic relationship is one in which two people don't communicate or relate to one another in healthy ways, and where conflict easily arises. In these relationships, at least one person tries to minimize the other's perspective and increase their competitive nature.
In a relationship or marriage emotional neglect is when a partner consistently fails to notice, attend to, and respond in a timely manner to a partner or spouse's feelings. In both instances, it has far-reaching negative consequences for the relationship. As humans, we are relational beings.