Type Fives don't pair as well with Nines It can be challenging for the two types to build a close relationship with their different focuses. Both types tend to go into their imaginary worlds to stay safe, making it difficult for them to connect.
Type Nines commonly pair well with Ones, Twos.
Nines can become too comfortable, leading to stubbornness and an unwillingness to assert themselves. In a Nine-One partnership, Ones hugely benefit from the easygoing nature of the Nine.
The Enneagram Nine Dark Side
These Nines refuse to do anything they don't want to do, but they also don't know what they want. They block people out, ignoring their responsibilities, relationships, and children (if they have them).
They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness.
Enneagram Nine Friendship Needs
Easy-going and accepting, Nines are peace-loving friends who give others the space to be themselves without judgment. At the same time, it's vital for Nines to have friends who see them for who they are rather than using them for their gentleness and compassion.
They detest not having the space to live their lives as they see fit. Being out of control or without authority over their own lives is maddening to them, even though it might not be obvious to others. As Nines grow and develop it's important for them to express their anger rather than smother it.
The basic fear of the Type 9 is that they may lose or be separated from others. They may attempt to prevent this by remaining peaceful and avoiding conflict, potentially adapting to others preferences, rather than stating their own.
Things That Make Nines Mad:
Feeling ignored or unimportant. Feeling misunderstood because of their calm, easy-going nature. Harsh criticism. Being taken advantage of.
For Type 9s, a strong nervous system means conflict will feel less anxiety-provoking. As part of the Body/Instinctive triad in the Enneagram, Type 9s have a sensitive issue around anger.
Healthy Nines offer safe space to others. They are easy-going and accepting, so that others feel safe with them. There is almost no tendency in Nines to manipulate others or to make them feel guilty for not responding as they would like.
First, it can be hard for them to get a partner. Type 9s tend to be wallflowers, and potential romantic prospects may be drawn to flashier, more gregarious types initially. However, once people get to know Type 9s, they're attracted to their calm, caring personalities.
Anger is an emotionally draining experience for Nines, who often take a while to notice that they are upset. They, therefore, don't allow themselves to experience anger too often or too intensely. Nines "tune in" to the feelings and emotions of the people around them.
Many Nines are introverts, in truth. They need to be, to keep themselves insulated from a world where chaos is ever present. Even when they're social and active, a part of them are kept in reserve. They are likeable, steady, tolerant and optimistic, but don't ask a Nine about their real feelings.
However, when complacent Nines are under stress (also known as their “direction of disintegration”), they act more like an anxious and worried Enneagram type Six. This is a Nine no longer self-possessed, but fraught with anxiety and insecurity.
ESTPs, ENTPs, and ESFJs generally are the most prone to have a narcissistic attitude. Furthermore, Enneatypes 7 and 3 fall within the description of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In particular, the enneatype 7w8 likes to be the center of attention.
Type Nine: The Peacemaker
Nines value harmony, comfort and peace. They are motivated by a need to always keep the peace and avoid conflict at all costs. They go with the flow and tend to let others take control so that they can make other people happy.
Type 9 – The Peacemaker/The Mediator
However, they somehow come to believe that this will only happen if they make it happen by themselves. Not so keen on this idea, they fall over their stumbling stone or into their root sin of sloth or laziness.
I, along with my guests, are all Enneagram 8's, The Challenger (aka: Leader/Challenger). Not only are 8's the rarest personality type, but they are also the most misunderstood, in my opinion.
Type 9s: Fear being confronted
Peacemakers are fearful of conflict, disharmony and being disconnected from others.
Nines rarely rock the boat, but they can be stubborn. While they typically go with the flow, they dislike being controlled and will respond with passive resistance if pushed too far. Deepest Fear: Nines fear being too needy and thus pushing people away.
What drives a Type 9 to think, feel, and behave in particular ways? Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection with others.
Type Six
Sixes are one of the most anxiety-prone types of the Enneagram and tend to overreact when under stress.
Enneagram Eights at Their Worst:
At their worst, Eights are ruthless, violent, and power-hungry. Often damaged by a violent or abusive childhood, Eights at this level are determined that no one will ever hurt them or get close to them again.
The Type 2 has a basic fear of being unwanted or unloved by those around them. A Type 2 may believe, consciously or subconsciously, that love is only gained and earned by serving others.