Victim ("Poor Me”): The victim avoids responsibility and becomes dependent, getting their egoic needs met by having people do things for them. They also succeed in getting attention, for both the rescuer and the persecutor are focusing on them.
The Victim: The victim tends to be very dramatic, everything is a crisis, and they tend to make a mountain out of a molehill. When there's dysfunction in the family the victim runs in and makes the chaos all about themselves. They are also the secret keeper, furthermore owning problems of the family aka victimizing.
The Scapegoat
The Scapegoat is the opposite of the Hero role, and is seen as the problem of the family. The Scapegoat is also referred to as the “black sheep” of the family, and has a hard time fitting in and relating to the other family members. His/her behavior is seen as bad and never good enough.
The “lost child” is the family member who retreats from family dysfunction due to feeling overwhelmed. They can spend a lot of time alone, pursue singular interests, and/or struggle to establish or maintain relationships with others.
Birth Order in Fabled Dysfunctional Families
Often the Oldest Child, or Oldest girl, is overly responsible as a substitute parent in families that need one due to dysfunction or parental absence. The Second child often is troubled, or oldest if a boy.
Eldest children are typically the ones that focus the most on family loyalty, traditions, and achievements, and are often more obedient and responsible. Oldest children are typically the rule followers , are competitive and conventional.
The Golden Child is greatly valued by their narcissistic parent for a variety of reasons–these form a heavy load for the child to carry. Within the dysfunctional family, the golden child learns early on that their role is to please their parent and live out their parent's own unfulfilled ambitions.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family unit could result in frequent job loss, poor boundaries in relationships, and difficulty launching into adulthood. A study into the physiological trauma of children of dysfunctional families found that these types of units are usually distinguished by unharmonious parenting styles.
Children in dysfunctional families often experience some form of childhood trauma physical or emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, witnessing violence, homelessness, etc. Below is a list of experiences that are common among children in dysfunctional families. You may relate to some or all of them.
A scapegoat is a person or group you place blame on. When scapegoating children, the child is blamed or shamed for all the issues that arise within dysfunctional households. Here's how scapegoating works: The parent with NPD blames their child (or children) for family issues.
A family scapegoat is a person who takes on the role of 'black sheep' or 'problem child' in their family and gets shamed, blamed, and criticized for things that go wrong within the family unit, even when these things are entirely outside of their control.
Victims have an important role throughout the criminal justice system that includes reporting the crime, testifying at trial and presenting a victim impact statement. The roles of victims are supported by rights to information, participation, protection and to seek restitution.
By playing the victim and making the child responsible for her life and actions, the mother enmeshes the two identities. Assigning the child the role of rescuer—or encouraging him or her to take it on—also enmeshes and obliterates the healthy boundaries that should exist between the parent and child.
Factors that can impair a family's functioning include poor parenting, distressed or abusive environments, substance abuse, mental illness, chronic physical illness, and poor communication.
Feelings of extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, worthlessness, difficulty trusting others, maintaining close relationships, or feeling worn out after a visit with your family are all signs you grew up in a toxic family.
Some signs of a toxic family include manipulation, criticism, controlling behavior, dismissive behavior, a sense of competition, unreasonable punishment, and unpredictability.
What are the traits of a glass child? Experts say a glass child is typically emotionally neglected; experience severe pressure to be problem-free and perfect; take on parental responsibilities within the family at a young age; and have an overwhelming need to make others happy.
Children from dysfunctional families suffer from a number of fears that do not correspond with age norm. It reveals their tendency to infantilization and natural ageing process slowdown. Conflict relationships in dysfunctional families trigger children's anxiety, increasing and perpetuating their fears.
The invisible child seeks to serve others to feel validated, and also need other people to admire and serve, like the Golden Child, and another narcissistic type.