Narcissists use the volume and tone of their voice to subconsciously establish dominance. They do this through two extremes. One way is to increase the volume by yelling, screaming, and raging.
Not all narcissists are loud and proud. In fact, some are quiet and shy. While the loud and braggy types are the ones people usually picture when thinking about narcissists, they can actually be quiet and reserved.
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
If you've ever caught the narcissist cheating or something else wrongful in your relationship, then they will use the silent treatment in this situation. Why? Well, because the goal for them is to always look innocent, and they cannot possibly be innocent when they've been caught.
Unlike fine wine or cheese, narcissists don't get better with age. They don't mellow, become wise, or develop late-onset self-awareness. Their personalities intensify, and without their ability to control others, they become bitter, defensive, and bossy.
First things first- a narcissist doesn't react well to being ignored. In fact, they absolutely hate it. What is this? Narcissists thrive on validation and attention from others.
React with empathy and respect.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Narcissistic rage can be triggered in a person with NPD when they perceive that those near them are questioning their abilities, or they are not being appreciated and recognized. These actions lead to feelings of extreme shame and fear that someone will see their vulnerable side.
People with NPD have low empathy and see others as beneath them, which can lead to harmful, toxic, abusive behaviors. Narcissistic abuse can be incredibly difficult to endure. Someone with NPD may use insults, threats, and accusations to manipulate you into doing what they want.
They have a sense of entitlement and expect favorable treatment. They take advantage of others to achieve their goals. They lack empathy and don't try to identify with the needs of others. They envy others or believe others envy them.
Your tears also put the spotlight on you, which is unacceptable for a narcissist. Another reason your tears may anger the narcissist is the fact that they may feel controlled by your tears. After all, they often use their own tears to manipulate and control others.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel. But..do not insert anything about how the situation makes you feel, or anything about you at all unless it is an apology.
Most people send matter-of-fact texts occasionally (especially in moments of urgency), but narcissists often come across as chronically demanding. And of course, they expect you to drop everything you're doing and take care of their need instantly. What is this? These texts may come out of nowhere.
Narcissistic baiting refers to a narcissistic person using “bait” to get an emotional reaction from someone. Another way to describe it, is as provocation or triggering– they want to provoke/ trigger the other person because it satisfies their narcissistic needs.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.