Key points. Simultaneously feeling attraction and hate often stems from transferring a feeling one has for one person onto another. Attraction fused with hate may be fueled by fears of rejection, past relationship trauma, social competition, or other insecurities.
So, yes, according to my own life experience, two people who feel hate, at first sight, can fall in love. In fact, it is quite likely that they will fall in love, most likely for the same reason that this girl and I fell in love.
They do call it a sexual fantasy, after all. For some, however, constantly lusting over people they dislike, or people who aren't all that nice to them, can point to underlying issues. "It's not uncommon to be attracted to things that were harmful to us in our past," Kahn says.
As we grow up, hopefully our experiences teaches us the same thing, that despite having any underlying feelings of anger or hate, we might not always feel that way – it is a passing feeling, and it is possible to love that same person.
“What shapes who we choose as a romantic partner is our relationships with our primary caretakers as kids,” Los Angeles-based psychologist Sarah Schewitz tells Talkspace. “We're unconsciously searching for somebody who has a conglomeration of negative and positive traits of the caretakers from our childhood.”
The same interests and values may also be a powerful way people are drawn to someone. When two people have similar hobbies, goals, or beliefs, it might create a sense of connection and compatibility. Emotional connection is another reason why people may feel drawn to each other.
The feeling of being attracted to someone involves your physical senses, your hormones, your nerves, and even your immune system. It can be sparked by a wide variety of cues, from the shape of another person's face to the particular way they smell.
One reason it's hard to stop thinking about someone, especially an ex, is that it stirs up a mixture of feelings. “For example, maybe the time they were in your life was a very happy time, and so you can't stop thinking of them and the nostalgia about your past relationship,” Dr Hafeez says.
Emotional ambivalence means that these two emotions, love and hate, don't substitute each other, but rather coexist together, without displacing one another.
We all have an innate desire to be loved for who we really are, flaws included. Enemies-to-lovers reflects that desire, showing us that another person can love them and accept them for all they are despite their flaws. These stories give us hope and let us indulge in the fantasy of a happy-ever-after.
A guy might be sexually attracted to you if he makes flirty eye contact with you and can't stop smiling around you. He might also like you if he touches you often and makes an effort to lean in close to you. A man is probably sexually attracted to you if you catch him staring at you or scanning your body up and down.
You Can Feel It
This one is probably a no-brainer; when someone is attracted to you, they want to touch you. Touch releases the bonding hormone oxytocin. So, it is an instinctive way of trying to strengthen your connection. However, not all touches mean the same thing.
The truth is that while many factors can spark sincere attraction, we still cannot force ourselves to desire someone.
The hate crush: The guy you really can't stand, but your blood gets so hot every time he enrages you that it basically turns you on and you just want to rip his clothes off to make him stop talking already.
Indeed, research suggests people who avoid emotion tend to have higher pain levels, increased cardiovascular risk, and higher cancer rates, as well as increased depression, anxiety, and problems in relationships. Instead of avoiding what we feel when we are vulnerable, we need to shift our approach.
Takeaway. Both love and hate can be extreme, intense emotions, but they seem to exist on opposite ends of a spectrum—with love on the most positive end and hate on the most negative. But, in some ways, there can be a thin line between the two, and it is possible to quickly jump from one emotion to the other.
Loving and hating someone at the same time is not necessarily a contradiction, but it does create profound emotional dissonance. Hate can serve to preserve the closeness of a relationship when other paths of communication are blocked.
If you have a strong reaction to something (be it love or hate), then you care about it - enough to feel something. Indifference is a sign that you truly do not care.
What Does It Mean When A Person Is Always On Your Mind? When you fall in love with someone, the person always stays in your mind. However, you can also have someone you really hate on your mind. When someone is always on your mind in ways you can't stop, then it means you care for the person.
Often, thinking about the same things over and over again may be related to stress. Sometimes, though, it may be a clinical symptom of a mental health challenge. Having recurring thoughts about someone and not being able to stop at will doesn't immediately mean you have a mental health condition.
You might find that this person that you barely know is extremely funny, charming, strong, humble, and captivating. You might be thinking about them so much because they seem so rare. They might have a unique combination of traits that you admire and desire.
The vibe you experience in another person's company is actually your energy reacting and responding to theirs. Therefore, sometimes you experience an unexplainable metaphysical connection with someone. You're simply attracted to the energy they embody.