A split might often be caused by an event that triggers the extreme binary emotions that characterise BPD. Sometimes, these events might seem harmless or small to people without BPD, but they may in some way relate to previous trauma. This event might spark fears of abandonment, separation or severe anxiety.
People with BPD often report feeling alienation, neglect or disconnected from their families and often attribute to poor communication with their parents. However, this may be a result of individual's dysfunctional thought processes to describe and communicate feelings, needs, desires, motives.
Splitting is a defense mechanism people living with BPD use to deal with emotions (such as the fear of abandonment) that they cannot handle. Instead of working with the complexities of relationships and situations, a person with BPD splitting either sees them as all good (idealizes) or all bad (devalues).
Do Those Suffering from BPD's Regret Breaking Up? Although BPD personalities initiate a break-up as a way of seeking validation, because of the intense anxiety at play, they'll often express intense regret because of their abandonment wounding, especially if they're not met with the response they desire.
There is no set period that a splitting behavior will last. A person may alternate between conflicting perceptions of another several times a day, or their perception of someone as all good or all bad may last a very long time. They will continue to split until they find more effective ways to manage BPD symptoms.
If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you: Consistent need for reassurance. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
Stage 4: If the person experiencing borderline personality disorder symptoms feels insecure about a relationship, they may attempt to distance themselves from the other person.
Fear of abandonment
People with borderline personality disorder fear abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone. Sometimes they feel that they do not exist at all, often when they do not have someone who cares for them. They often feel empty inside.
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
People with BPD may not have a consistent self-image or sense of self. This may worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may find it difficult to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships.
People with BPD fear abandonment and have trouble maintaining relationships. Nevertheless, they tend to lie, which ruins trust and intimacy, fosters resentment, and harms the very relationships they fear losing. Many family members and friends of those with BPD cite lying as a major problem in their relationships.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. In other words, they're not about you. When your loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain they are experiencing; it's rarely deliberate.
The BPD friendship cycle starts with intense idealization but eventually moves to devaluation once the BPD person's fear of rejection and low self-esteem come into play. To maintain a friendship long-term, it's important to communicate, find support, and avoid getting sucked into the BPD drama.
Intense, inappropriate anger can be one of the most challenging symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). This anger in BPD is often referred to as “borderline rage.” It can lead to explosive episodes of anger that are difficult to manage and can have a significant effect on a person's relationships.
Losing interest in sex or having low libido can also happen to people with BPD. So what can you do? Don't be afraid to voice your needs. Do things that make you and your partner feel relaxed before engaging in sexual activity.
There is no set average length of a BPD relationship because each person's symptoms and how BPD affects their relationships will differ. Given the instability that comes with BPD, some people with this disorder may experience a series of relationships that begin intensely and end quickly.
Getting over a favorite person in BPD means that the person has worked through and overcome their intense emotional attachment to that individual. This can be a challenging process that often involves therapy and developing healthy coping mechanisms to manage feelings of abandonment and separation anxiety.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.