The reason why men pull away after coming on strong is because men operate differently than women. They say how they feel in that moment, which may or may not predict how they'll feel tomorrow, or the next day.
Things You Should Know
Consider reasons his interest may have waned: maybe he's shy, maybe he's playing head games, or maybe he's just realized you're not compatible! Decide whether it's worth it to pursue him anyway. He might just need time—or he might just not be worth the trouble. Ask him directly what's going on.
2. What does it mean when a guy comes on strong then backs off? He might have expected something different in his head and that's why he was persuasive. However, there is a high chance the relationship was not what he had expected and so he backed off.
If you feel that the prospective suitor may actually have true potential, but is coming on too strongly, a simple reminder that you need to get to know him and ask respectfully that you both take it slowly, allowing a foundation to build before the physical touch, pet names, etc.
One of the possible answers to why do guys distance themselves after intimacy is because they are in their refractory period. It is difficult for men to immediately go for subsequent rounds after they ejaculate. They need more time to achieve the same excitement level so that they can adequately satisfy you in bed.
Maybe this is the first time he is experiencing such intense feelings for someone, and this scares him. He might be scared of the fact that he will disappoint you or doubtful if he is ready to commit. Being afraid of feelings and love is the number one reason men pull away.
Please remember that even though you usually feel his pulling away as negative, it is not always a negative thing. It is very common for your man to pull away in the early stages of a relationship. Of course, this does not always mean that your relationship is doomed – quite the contrary.
It may simply mean the guy is excited about your relationship and wants to see it flourish. In other cases, though, coming on strong could be an indication of jealousy, deceit, or control issues, all of which have the potential to harm you and your partner.
Caution: if someone is moving too fast, it's one of the clearest relationship red flags.
Manipulative behavior is a major red flag in men because it implies that they are trying to control you. Manipulation typically involves someone exploiting someone else's feelings or insecurities to get what they want. They might do this by making someone feel guilty or ashamed.
Called the “rubber band” or the male intimacy cycle, it's when a man vacillates between being close to his partner and pulling away. Men do this for many reasons. The most important reason is to connect with their more masculine side and to focus on the activities that make them a good provider and partner.
As she supports herself and feels whole in her life, a high-value woman might give to others and feel rested, cared for, and open to social connection. She may communicate effectively with and understand other people, build and encourage others when she senses they need it, and accept people as they are.
Why do guys chase you and then back off? Because something about your relationship changed his mind. If he doesn't feel a connection or feels like you aren't someone he sees himself with, then he'll stop pursuing you. If he's a gentleman, he will own up and tell you that things weren't working out.
He needs some time to be sure of his feelings. Sometimes, guys withdraw from a situation and act uninvolved to be able to see it from a different perspective. By keeping a distance from you, he is trying to see the relationship differently and understand if he really wants to keep this going.
He's testing you.
Some men use hot and cold behavior to test your reactions. He may be trying to gauge how interested in him you are. By pulling away, he might be trying to see if you chase him or if you pull back too. His behavior might also be a way to see how far he can push you before you walk away.
A healthy relationship is where both partners have enough time and space for themselves. Hence, if you are struggling to figure out ways to keep your man interested, remember this golden rule – give him and yourself space, and allow him to feel your absence.
If you've come off too strong and your crush pulls away, give them a bit of time and space. Check-in with yourself and see how you feel about this person's reaction to you. If your crush pops up again, pay attention to them. If the opportunity arises, you can gently ask if you've made them uncomfortable at any time.
"If you do most of the talking or texting with another person, it's a sign you're coming on too strong," he said. "For example, you write long blocks of text, but the other person gives a one or two word reply. In most cases, the other person isn't that interested and is trying to give you a hint."
Physical, emotional, and mental abuse are undeniable red flags in any relationship. Physical abuse is easier to pick up. But emotional and mental abuse can be just as damaging in the long run. And just like physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse can cause PTSD.
It may be hard to hear, but if you're falling in love super fast it may be due to certain issues that you are facing. For example, you may have had past relationships that you're trying to forget about it. Or, maybe you've never had any relationships in the past and you're eager to have your first.
It could just mean that he enjoys spending time with you and doesn't want it to end. He may even want to take things slow with you since he doesn't want to give too much information away on one date. That's totally cool! But give this guy a chance — maybe he really wants to be with you!
The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women 134 days. Another dating site, Elite Singles, did a poll in 2017 and found that 61 per cent of women believe in love at first sight, while 72 per cent of men do. These surveys focused on heterosexual relationships.