The Funeral Can Be a Reminder of the Finality of Death Until that moment, it may have felt like they were in a dream or living in denial. But seeing the body and attending the funeral can be a harsh reminder that the person is really gone. It can trigger feelings of sadness, anger, and despair.
It may not be until after the funeral that you feel the full intensity of your grief. Everyone else may seem to have returned to normal, but your life is forever changed. It will take time to create a “new normal” for yourself. Friends and family sometimes make comments such as: “Life has to go on.
Digestive Problems and Weight Changes
Often connected with the disruption to normal eating habits or routines, bereavement can cause temporary digestive problems such as constipation, diarrhea, stomach pain, a "hollow feeling" in the stomach, queasiness, or feeling nauseated. Changes in weight are also common.
Shock is common after the loss of a loved one. Shock symptoms can include both a bodily and emotional response in the same person. It's possible that you'll experience dizziness, nausea, confusion, numbness, or even exhaustion. Feeling stunned may cause you to doubt the veracity of what you're hearing.
Often funerals can bring up thoughts of other people who have died. It's quite common to find that you are grieving someone you didn't expect to. Sometimes people feel worried or even guilty that they are not focussing on the 'right' feelings or even the right person. But it's very normal.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
Dealing with your emotions post-funeral
You may want to find ways to fill this space, such as journaling or taking up a hobby. It is important to stay in touch with people for support. Joining a grief support group may help you find comfort and community.
The feelings of love in trauma-bonded relationships tend to be more intense than in healthy relationships, which will intensify the feelings of grief. The survivor is ashamed to admit they are grieving the person so those around them assume they are coping with the death.
The most common reaction on hearing of the death of someone close to you is shock. Shock can affect you for a few days or a number of weeks.
Shock is different for everyone and may last for a couple of days or weeks. Shock may cause some people to react in an unusual way when they first hear the news of a death.
After the funeral, the family and close relatives to the deceased are supposed to refrain from entertainment and merry-making. This is a basic rule that should be adhered to during such times and events. A period of 49 days is prescribed for this as a way of showing respect to the departed family member.
It is very common to feel tired, or exhausted, when you are grieving. There are many reasons why you may feel tired, especially if you were caring for the person who died. Strong emotions along with all the practical things you may have needed to do after they died, can also leave you feeling exhausted.
One common characteristic of grief is exhaustion. If you are newly bereaved, you may be feeling more tired than usual. You may feel so tired that you think you may have the flu as the only other time you have experienced this weakened state is when you have been ill.
Two years on
For most people their mourning period is a long process and it can take years. After about two years you are likely to know the places, events and occasions that trigger your emotions. As you start to know these, you will also learn what helps you to cope with them.
A standard funeral can be up to about 2 weeks after the date of death. If the body is cremated, the family can wait as long as they'd like, but most are done within a month at the latest. If the deceased is already buried or cremated, a memorial service can be held at any later date.
Grief is Hard on the Body
Just like we need sleep when recovering from illness, we need sleep when recovering from the physical and emotional strain associated with losing someone we love. A few reasons why you might experience difficulty sleeping while you are grieving: Intrusive thoughts. Stress, worries, anxiety.
A sudden death brings particular feelings and issues. Shock and disbelief are caused by the unexpected and devastating nature of the experience. While you can never feel completely prepared for a death, a sudden death leaves a person feeling particularly vulnerable.
Recognize that shock is a natural part of grief that may occur many times before the actuality of the loss sinks in. Even though it feels off-balance, it is part of the process of dealing with painful experiences. In time, the shock will lessen.
Most people who are dying feel tired. They may want to sleep more often, or for longer periods. They may want to talk less, although some may want to talk more. They may want to eat less or eat different foods since their stomach and digestive system are slowing down.
Intrusive memories
Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.
Trauma dumping is defined as unloading traumatic experiences on others without warning or invitation. It's often done to seek validation, attention, or sympathy. While some initial relief may come from dumping your trauma onto someone else, the habit actually does more harm than good.
Some people can access their emotions and cry; others looked stunned or frozen. It can be hard seeing someone at that state, in the rawest stage of their grief. It's no wonder family and friends try to say something supportive. What people don't realise is that bereavement is a kind of trauma.
Most people find that grief gets easier over time. The pain you feel will eventually lessen and there will come a time when you can adjust to life without the person who has died. If your grief doesn't feel like it's getting any easier, there's support available to help you through it.