An excessive desire to be liked can stem from a lot of different issues. Perhaps you experience a little social anxiety and you worry that others are judging you harshly. So in an effort to reduce your anxiety you go a little overboard trying to be liked.
If you have the need to be liked, you might have an external locus of control. You might connect your self-worth with the number of people who like you, rather than how you feel about yourself. Sociotropy is a state of being dependent on other people and a preoccupation with people-pleasing.
In our heads, we want to think that those around us like us just as much as we like ourselves. It feels unnatural—and downright scary—to think that there are (or will be) people who won't necessarily like us. But here's the big, earth-shattering truth: it's okay to not be liked by everyone.
misanthrope. noun. mis·an·thrope ˈmis-ᵊn-ˌthrōp. : a person who hates or distrusts humankind.
Misanthropy is the general hatred, dislike, distrust, or contempt of the human species, human behavior, or human nature. A misanthrope or misanthropist is someone who holds such views or feelings.
The need to be liked by others is formally known as approval-seeking behavior. It's a form of codependence where your self-worth is based on what others think of you. People pleasers are often described as being “acquiescent,” which means they have a hard time saying “no” or standing up for themselves.
Sometimes, it can be challenging to be kind to ourselves and others. This difficulty may stem from certain personality traits, worries about the thoughts of others, low self-esteem, and challenging circumstances.
Low self-esteem can cause feelings of repulsion toward love or relationships. If you do not feel attractive, valuable, or loveable, you may subconsciously feel that others will not see you in this way. Low self-esteem can be improved through self-care and practices that increase self-compassion, like meditation.
People who have a fear of rejection are afraid of not being liked, being abandoned, not fitting in or being alone. People who fear rejection may struggle with low self-esteem, lack of confidence, shame, or guilt, and spend a lot of time and energy worrying about what others think of them.
The correct answer is "popular".
It May Turn Others Off
The reason, simply put: Trying too hard creeps out your colleagues. “You will feel insecure and give off energy in a way that people may not want to engage with you,” explains Anna Goldstein, business and life coach in New York City.
Well-liked people are generally intuitive, which makes sense — they know how to pick up on other people's feelings, which means they know what they should and shouldn't be saying. They act appropriately and ask the right questions.
Why do I avoid people? You might avoid people that you know because you prefer your own company, you don't know how to make small talk, or you're scared of feeling vulnerable or exposed around others. Some people are also restricted by mood disorders, shyness, or previous negative experiences.
Williams syndrome is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by hypersociability and unique neurocognitive abnormalities. One of the characteristics of Williams syndrome is an inappropriate increase in social behavior. People with the syndrome may be overly friendly, even to strangers.
Trying too hard usually stems from a childhood where your efforts were either not rewarded or were not regarded as ever good enough, where you perceived yourself to be undervalued or unappreciated.
Being 'too nice' can be a disadvantage if you don't set boundaries at work and can even have negative consequences for your work life. Some of these negative consequences can be that you are not compensated for your work, you get taken advantage of, you get overlooked and you could get more tasks dumped on your plate.
Philophobia is the fear of love or being loved (philo meaning love; phobia meaning fear). At first this might seem like a silly or uncommon fear, but it affects more people than you may realize. Recall all those times you felt like you weren't enough or that you lacked something essential.
Signs of low self-esteem include: saying negative things and being critical about yourself. joking about yourself in a negative way. focusing on your negatives and ignoring your achievements.
Dependent personality disorder (DPD) is a type of anxious personality disorder. People with DPD often feel helpless, submissive or incapable of taking care of themselves. They may have trouble making simple decisions. But, with help, someone with a dependent personality can learn self-confidence and self-reliance.
We tend to be more attracted to someone whose feelings are unclear. We think about them so much because we are trying to figure them out. It's a major reason why you can't get this new person out of your head. They are a complete enigma to you.
Social anxiety disorder is an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others. This fear can affect work, school, and other daily activities. It can even make it hard to make and keep friends. The good news is social anxiety disorder is treatable.
It may be because of emotional baggage, the desire to assert control or independence, to test boundaries, or simply, because people may just expect a lot from the other. Some may have a fear of intimacy, due to cultural upbringing, or because of living through traumatic or abusive relationships.