We worry we are unloveable or there are things about us that people will find unacceptable. This causes us to hide. We hide those parts of ourselves–maybe a secret part of our identity, maybe a troubled past, maybe a neurosis that embarrasses us.
Masking refers to hiding your authentic self in an effort to gain greater social acceptance. The costs of camouflaging your true personality and emotions can add up exponentially, causing you to experience a sense of loss, anxiety, and depression.
Hiding your true self is something many people do in one way or another. As people, we wear masks to fit in and to protect our emotions and inner lives.
Suppressing our true selves can also harm our relationships. Authentic connections are built on trust and vulnerability, but forming deep connections with others becomes challenging when we hide our true selves. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Overall, men are quicker to dive into relationships and happy to reveal their warts-and-all true self within the first 6 months. Women are quicker to explain their likes and dislikes early on, but delay unveiling their past and potentially-less-glamorous side until ensconced in love for at least a year.
One of the most common reasons we wear masks is the fear that the world is going to find us out. We wear different masks to keep us from getting too hurt. One of our greatest fears is that if we show our true selves, but being yourself is actually the best thing you could ever be.
Your true self is you when you're at your most open, vulnerable, and carefree. Think about the times you've spent with those you're 100% comfortable with or the times when you've been completely alone. These circumstances often reveal your true self.
Your authentic self goes beyond what you do for a living, what possessions you own, or who you are to someone (mom, brother, girlfriend). It is who you are at your deepest core. It is about being true to yourself through your thoughts, words, and actions, and having these three areas match each other.
The narcissist's exploitation of others
People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are constantly trying to hide the authentic, false self they present to the world. This hidden self is selfish, self-centered, and demanding.
Contextual factors including relationships with one's conversation partner, social capital (class) differences, location, and social setting are all reasons why an individual would express, suppress, or mask an emotion.
We feel, subconsciously, that it's important to please the other person first, and then, ourselves. We don't consider ourselves to be that important. Even if you are going through a breakup with your best friend whom you dated for a while, you feel that you will lose them if you don't continue talking to them.
If others close to us only know our persona, our “safe” self, and we hide our vulnerabilities, we actually are unknown; we do become alone in the world. Ultimately, the cost of keeping your true identity hidden is much bigger than letting it shine through.
Real-life examples of the false self are based around certain beliefs that we take on in order to fit into our worlds better. If I am pretty, I will be more likeable. If I have a lot of money, I am successful. If I work hard/achieve more, I will have more value.
“You don't necessarily see your true self all the time. It's not on display but it can be revealed and it's who you really are,” says Strohminger. Finding an authentic self is often described as a layered process.
Paradoxically, fear of rejection often prevents people from expressing their authentic selves. They put up a “mask” and change their behavior in order to fit in or act in a way that others think they should. When you betray yourself to fit in, you wind up feeling isolated and alone.
We hide our faces for security, privacy, out of vanity, pride, respect, or playfulness. We hide them in shock, shame, sadness, or exhaustion. They are also made hidden by others and dehumanized thereby. People have always hidden their faces to protect them from environmental hazards – the sun, the wind, the dust.
Key Takeaways. Mental health masking means camouflaging or suppressing your mental health symptoms so you fit in with others.
People conceal aspects of their identity for a variety of reasons. You might feel that you'd be rejected by the people in your social network if they knew the inner truth about you, or you might feel that you'll be prohibited from receiving certain benefits at work.
Our personalities don't just change though. There seems to be a specific age at which we become our 'truest selves' - when our personalities are at their most stable. According to recent research, this happens at around age 50. Researchers used to think it was in our 30s.