Abused or traumatized children may lie to cover up the abuse, lie about their experiences, or fear telling the truth to adults. Anxiety. Children with anxiety-related diagnoses may lie because they are worried about the consequences of telling the truth.
When you live with a mental illness like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), telling little lies may be a reality of your life just to make it through. Maybe you say, “I have a headache,” instead of telling people you're experiencing an intense flashback.
Emotional Responses
They often internalize and/or externalize stress reactions and as a result may experience significant depression, anxiety, or anger. Their emotional responses may be unpredictable or explosive. A child may react to a reminder of a traumatic event with trembling, anger, sadness, or avoidance.
Lies might also be a coping mechanism for low self-esteem or past trauma. Despite these short-term benefits, compulsive lying often backfires in the long run. A habitual liar may feel extreme stress from keeping track of their falsehoods.
You can break the pattern of lies by making them feel safe in their new environment, whether that's a new foster home or a new relationship. If someone is made aware of their lying and wants to change their ways, therapy is a great place to start to unlearn and gain a deeper understanding of their habits.
Childhood trauma as a cause of pathological lying
In some cases, pathological lying can be a result of childhood trauma, such as neglect or abuse. People who did not get their needs met as children may begin lying as a coping mechanism, in an attempt to get the love and reassurance they crave.
Neglect, abuse and trauma in childhood can increase the risk of developing this personality disorder. People who appear to be suffering from pathological lying should consult a health care provider or mental health professional.
Lying is one of the most common tactics an abuser uses to gain power and control over their victim. Lying confuses the victim's reality while helping the liar to shirk from their responsibility in the situation, often shifting the blame to the victim.
While pathological lying isn't a defining feature of anxiety as it is with other disorders, such as NPD, anxiety and compulsive lying can sometimes go hand in hand. People with anxiety disorders may lie to protect themselves from anxiety triggers or to handle things like a fear of rejection.
Trauma-induced changes to the brain can result in varying degrees of cognitive impairment and emotional dysregulation that can lead to a host of problems, including difficulty with attention and focus, learning disabilities, low self-esteem, impaired social skills, and sleep disturbances (Nemeroff, 2016).
Problems with sleeping, eating, anger, and attention
Some of the symptoms of trauma in children (and adults) closely mimic depression, including too much or too little sleep, loss of appetite or overeating, unexplained irritability and anger, and problems focusing on projects, school work, and conversation.
Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event. Most people who go through traumatic events may have temporary difficulty adjusting and coping, but with time and good self-care, they usually get better.
Research has found that when children lie, they reveal subtle signs of their deception in their nonverbal expressive behavior when compared with truth tellers.
While some people lie more frequently than others, it is not typically a sign of a mental health condition. Pathological lying is different. It may be a sign of an underlying mental health condition, such as a personality disorder.
Lying can be a symptom of some mental health conditions according to a 2021 review, including borderline personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) may lie to mask compulsions or stop friends and family from worrying about their behaviors.
Pathological liars lie more than most people. They may make up stories that sound real enough that other people believe them. They then have to add more lies to back up the original lies. The lies they tell can also be outlandish and easily disproved.
Why do we lie? Lying allows a person to establish perceived control over a situation by manipulating it. It's a defence mechanism that (seemingly) prevents them from being vulnerable, that is, to not open up and reveal their true self to another person.
Individuals who resort to lies and deception are seen as unfree and/or as lacking in self-respect.
Sometimes, depression can make us liars, too. Maybe you lie when you're depressed because you're afraid your family won't understand. Maybe you've been burnt before, or you worry revealing how you really feel will burden the people you love.
Even repetitive lying to a partner can be a form of abuse, since a survivor may begin to doubt their own experiences and instincts, becoming brainwashed into believing anything their abuser says.