Black is standard for people to wear at a funeral because it symbolizes mourning and a somber occasion. The color black also shows respect for the deceased, and wearing other colors can be a “slap in the face,” according to some religions.
Why do people wear black to funerals? Nowadays, in much of the western world, wearing black to a funeral is the most common color and is considered a sign of respect. However, the tradition actually dates back to the ancient Romans, when mourners would adopt a darker colored Toga to show they were in mourning.
While black is the unspoken rule for funerals because of the solemnity and formality of the occasion, some people oppose this for that reason specifically. They want their funeral to be less formal, less sombre or even more colourful.
At the traditional funeral most Australians are familiar with, it is respectful to wear smart, well-pressed clothes in a dark colour. Black has long been typically worn by mourners at a traditional funeral, but dark shades such as navy or grey are also appropriate.
The association of the colour black with death and loss is centuries old and is believed to have originated during Roman times. However, it was after the death of Prince Albert in 1861 when it gained popularity as part of funeral fashion.
Wearing red to a funeral would be considered inappropriate because it would clash with the somber atmosphere and be viewed as disrespectful. In some eastern cultures, red is also seen as a positive color, but it carries different connotations. Red represents luck, good fortune, and happiness.
Since the 1870s, mourning practices for some cultures, even those who have emigrated to the United States, are to wear black for at least two years, though lifelong black for widows remains in some parts of Europe.
A funeral is a time to show your respect as you honor the life of the deceased, and your clothing should reflect that. For men, dark suits or slacks and a dress shirt is preferred. For women, a dress, business suit, or dress pants and nice sweater. Stick to colors like black, navy, grey, or red-violet.
When deciding what to wear to a funeral, the most important thing is to respect the wishes of the bereaved family. Black clothing is traditionally the most worn funeral attire, though wearing dark or muted colours is also generally considered appropriate.
What do women wear to a funeral? A skirt or dress – these should be knee-length and not flashy or revealing, normally with tights. A pair of smart trousers – jeans and other casual trousers are not appropriate for a funeral.
Pink: admiration, appreciation, elegance, grace, love (often used at the funerals of women or children)
It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent's funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own way. If you were estranged from the parent, you may have already grieved their death in your own way.
Dressing appropriately for funerals around the world
In the West, showing respect at a funeral typically requires conservative attire in black or dark colors. However, white is the color of mourning in China, and for Sikh, Hindu, and some Muslim services.
You Don't Have To Wear Black
However, colors like dark grey, dark blue, darker green, white, and beige can be appropriate. If you don't own any black clothing, you may always opt for a subtle hue that is appropriate for formal settings. In addition, stay away from anything with distracting patterns or prints.
Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.
Catholic Funeral Etiquette
Women should wear a black skirt or dress or pantsuit. If black clothing is not available, attendees should aim for wearing the darkest semi-formal clothes they have. It is no longer required that women wear hats, although some do. Men should absolutely not wear a hat in the church.
Dark or muted dresses are traditional and don't take attention away from the service. Shoulders should be covered in most cases. Skirts and dresses should reach the knee. Suits are also considered respectful and appropriate.
Can you wear jeans to a funeral? The most common answer is that jeans aren't considered appropriate funeral etiquette unless requested by the family. However, dark, unembellished jeans paired with a shirt, tie, and blazer for men or a blouse and a blazer for women can be appropriate for a casual service.
For women, adding color can be done through patterns and floral designs. Much like with men's funeral attire, color should be used to subtly accent your outfit. Try to make sure that your outfit does not have overly bright colors or wild patterns that draw attention.
Wearing a dress that goes to your knees or below is a safe bet. A nice shirt and skirt in dark colors. Shirts that aren't low-cut and that also have some sort of sleeve are usually considered appropriate for funerals. Longer skirts are also more common, usually to the knee or longer.
As a neutral color, white should not be considered inappropriate at most North American funerals. Though you should ask the family hosting the service when in doubt, plain, neutral colors are generally acceptable for memorials. Wearing white in conjunction with other dark tones is absolutely appropriate.
At the funeral service, family traditionally sit on the right-hand side while friends, colleagues and other mourners sit on the left. Immediate family and close friends sit in the front few rows.
Trimming hair and nails
Generally, this emanates from the belief that nails and hair were given to the children by the deceased as a parent and as such they shouldn't be trimmed during the mourning period and after the burial. At least you should wait for 49 days.
The mourning process is strict in this tradition. The family will avoid social gatherings for at least 40 days after the passing of a loved one. During this time, the family wears all black. Close male relatives don't shave for 40 days.
Rigor mortis generally disappears 36 hours after death, followed by a phase known as secondary flaccidity. The late post-mortem phase is when the body tissue starts disintegrating and is primarily describable as decomposition or putrefaction, adipocere formation, mummification, or skeletonization.