Clinginess is a natural reaction for children experiencing separation anxiety, or fear of being separated from a person they trust. Separation anxiety tends to be strongest from ages 9 to 18 months and usually improves by the time a child is 3. These stages correspond to phases of young child development.
Your child is clingy because they're seeking limits.
Children often will “misbehave” or become clingy because they're seeking some input from you. They may want to know where they can go or where they can't go. They're testing some boundaries, which is normal. Often, your child is asking you a question: Can I do this?
Why do children get clingy? A child can show clinginess due to a fear of being away from their parents (separation anxiety) or because of stranger anxiety, where the fear is more about being around people the child doesn't know.
A lot of babies and toddlers go through a clingy stage. It mostly happens when they are between 10 and 18 months but it can start as early as six months old.
After all, when your little one is feeling unsettled, it makes sense they turn to you, their caregiver, for comfort. Clinginess can last for a while, but your tot should have an easier time by the time they turn 2, Hovington says, adding that most kids fully outgrow it by 3 years old.
The period that a baby uses to select a primary attachment figure stretches from 2 to over 12 months, with most infants making up their minds in the period between 3 and 7 months.
Symptoms of anxiety in children
not eating properly. quickly getting angry or irritable, and being out of control during outbursts. constantly worrying or having negative thoughts. feeling tense and fidgety, or using the toilet often.
The Social Immaturity factor was composed of items that are not what one might typically expect to be prototypical of the ADHD child: clingy, preferring younger children, clumsy, and acting young, which may overlap with the social deficits of PDD.
A significant stressful or traumatic event in the child's life, such as a stay in the hospital, the death of a loved one or pet, or a change in environment (such as moving to another house or a change of schools) Children whose parents are overprotective may be more prone to separation anxiety.
Kids who are clinging to us when they are no longer preschoolers may be doing so out of insecurity. It is security in the attachment relationship that frees children and allows them to let go of us. Attachment isn't the enemy of maturity, but insecure relationships will be.
Changes in mood
"Having low mood or apathy can be a sign that your child is feeling anxious or depressed," explains Dr Sharie Coombes. "Children may also get angry more easily than usual." Other children may display signs of mental rushing around.
'Acting out' emotionally
Angry outbursts, physical aggression and tantrums can all be signs of an attachment disorder, as can excessive crying. Helen commented: “Children with an attachment disorder may have learnt that they won't get their needs met unless they make themselves the centre of attention.
Teens pull away from their parents due to a biological instinct to separate themselves in preparation for adulthood. If a teen pushes their parent away, it is often because they feel secure in the relationship and therefore take it for granted temporarily.
Acting clingy tends to stem from attachment issues and past relationships that were emotionally dramatic. Clinginess is not as severe as codependency, but it can be a symptom of this unhealthy relationship style.
At the early school age maladaptation states often arise - fear of school, sleep and appetite disturbances, lethargy, tearfulness, mental block in a new setting, temperature rise, abdominal pain not associated with the gastrointestinal tract deviations, compulsions (pulling the hair out, biting nails).
For some parents, infancy is the hardest. For others, it's toddlerhood. Some parents feel that the preschool years present special challenges.
Normally babies develop a close attachment bond with their main caregiver (usually their parents) within the first months of life. If they are in a situation where they do not receive normal love and care, they cannot develop this close bond. This may result in a condition called attachment disorder.