They like people who are strong A common misconception is that narcissists go for the weak, because they are easier to manipulate. In fact, narcissists prefer to target someone who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire, because they believe it makes them shine too.
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.
When narcissists fall in love, they become obsessed with being adored and admired by their partners. They may shower them with compliments and gifts or attempt to manipulate them through grand gestures of affection.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
The most common narcissistic strategy is to pretend to be better than you actually are in order to impress, deceive, and manipulate others.
He sees all emotional reaction as attention.
He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you. The best thing you can do is not react.
Its no secret that a core narcissistic trait is the lack of empathy and care for others. However, people with strong narcissistic tendencies and other dark personality traits (hereafter narcissists) do sometimes act in a caring manner, or try to appear this way.
They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. Amorous narcissists (Don Juan and Mata Hari types) are adept and persuasive lovers and may have many conquests, yet remain single.
Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider. They lack a psychological trait known as Object Constancy, so they can't stay emotionally connected to someone who is not physically close.
Narcissists aren't capable of loving others because they don't know how to love themselves. “Narcissists are unable to see beyond themselves and what they need at any given moment. They don't consider how their actions affect others and they don't care about anyone but themselves.”
It could be that they are attracted by your looks, your intellect, your knowledge, your status, your wealth, your popularity, etc. Whatever it is that attracts the narcissist to you, most victims tend to have one trait in common, that is, their empathic caring nature.
You might notice that they use detrimental behavior to devalue the happy people around them. This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy. Your happiness also threatens the person's domination over your life.
They Like A Challenge
If they target an insecure person, they don't feel that strong sense of superiority over their partner that they thrive on. By pursuing, and ultimately “conquering” a strong and confident woman, a narcissist will feel the ultimate sense of superiority.
A narcissist can attach to a parent, child, spouse, friend, and/or business partner. Basically, it is anyone willing to give the narcissist an unlimited supply of attention, admiration, affection, or appreciation.
Empaths and highly sensitive people can be more susceptible to the charm of those who have NPD or narcissistic qualities, says Zinn.
At first, a narcissist will try to please you and impress you, but eventually, their own needs will always come first. They will text you whenever they want to, even if they know you are in an important meeting or exam. They don't care about the time or who you are with.
First and foremost, the narcissist will use your kindness against you. They look at your areas of vulnerability so they can use it against you when they need to feel better about themselves. Your kindness is seen as a weakness by the narcissist and is a place of entry for their abusive narcissistic ways.
Generally, how do narcissists feel when you move on? Naturally, narcissism is characterized by envy. Besides having an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and requiring constant, narcissists tend to envy others. So, when the narcissist sees you with someone else, it may not go well with them.
People with type A personalities attract narcissists, but a relationship between the two is a recipe for disaster. Narcissists know exactly who to target. Often they go after people with high levels of empathy.
Nothing attracts a narcissist like walking into the room with your head held high commanding everyone's attention. The narcissist wants your attention and approval. Narcissists need validation from others because it feeds their ego. Some narcissists see confident people as a challenge.
Possesses positive character qualities for the narcissist to exploit- i.e., integrity, honesty, empathy, compassion, loyalty, etc. The narcissist is always in it for himself/herself, which is important to remember. The narcissist targeted you because you represent one or more of the above.
Divorce attorney Laura Wasser told Insider narcissists have a variety of preferences, just like anyone else, but there are some patterns that are clear. "They often gravitate towards those who can serve their needs, whether it's through admiration and validation or providing a sense of control and power," she said.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.