Even if you've been in a relationship with someone for years, their covert narcissism may be so subtle that you're not even aware of it for a very long time.” That's what makes covert narcissism a little more dangerous and a little more difficult to manage. Take the way we respond to anger, for example.
You may be an Unconscious Narcissist or you may know one.
That's completely acceptable. But if, for instance, your divorce was final a year ago and your entire monologue is always about the people you've been dating for the last six months, you might have a case of “unconscious narcissism”.
Not every narcissist has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), as narcissism is a spectrum. People who are at the highest end of the spectrum are those that are classified as NPD, but others, still with narcissistic traits, may fall on the lower end of the narcissistic spectrum.
Based on overlapping symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are often mistaken for one another.
Mild: A mildly narcissistic person might be egotistical or boastful about their accomplishments but still function well in society.
“Covert narcissist” describes a person who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) but does not display the grandiose sense of self-importance that psychologists associate with the condition.
People with NPD have an inflated sense of importance, an excessive need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. They often struggle to maintain healthy relationships and may experience difficulties in other aspects of their lives.
Habitual Non-Listening
Ever spoken with someone who responded dismissively to everything you said? Narcissists brush aside or deprecate what others say instead of truly listening.
The false self and pathological narcissism
Pathological narcissism is a traumatic stress response that manifests as ego distortion. It is the invention of a fake persona as a coping mechanism for abysmally low self-esteem. The child's deformed ego may present as collapsed or inflated.
A toxic person may not necessarily be a narcissist, but someone who displays narcissistic traits is definitely toxic. Here are some signs that someone may be narcissistic: They act superior to others and are always the best, right, and most competent.
It's perfectly possible to feel or act a little narcissistic, even unpleasantly so, without having a disorder. NPD involves a more extreme form of narcissism that can cause great distress and impairment over time.
Sometimes the narcissist does gain self-awareness and knowledge of his predicament - typically in the wake of a life crisis (divorce, bankruptcy, incarceration, accident, serious illness, or the death of a loved one).
An often effective way to point out a person's narcissism, while at the same time allowing the individual flexibility to change, is to separate the behavior from the person. For instance, instead of stating “you're a narcissist,” say “you're acting like a narcissist,” or “this [specify the behavior] is narcissistic.”
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
Healthy narcissists exhibit self-confidence, empathy, and an objective view of their talents and accomplishments. Unlike typical narcissists, those with healthy narcissism do not exploit others to fulfill their needs, and possessing traits associated with this can actually be helpful.
Echoism is the opposite of narcissism. While a narcissistic person is very self-centered and always acts in their best interests, an echoist is someone who may often put others' needs before their own. In extreme cases, these personality traits can be harmful to yourself and others.
Narcissists can be tricky to identify because they overlap with people who are toxic, mean, fake, and deeply insecure for other reasons. Accurately detecting the narcissist in your life can make them much less bothersome.
Self-centered people can be empathic. Narcissists may fake it, but still essentially see others as pawns in their egocentric universe—and fail to make real changes. Self-centered people crave attention from others, and can reliably find a way to talk about themselves when they begin to feel neglected and unimportant.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
Forgive yourself for setting unreachable expectations and think about why you set them so high to begin with. Allow yourself to experience emotions instead of trying to control every outcome. Identify your triggers for narcissistic rage. Celebrate your personal victories.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
They sometimes lead to the Serotonin syndrome, which includes agitation and exacerbates the rage attacks typical of a narcissist. SSRIs do lead at times to delirium and a manic phase and even to psychotic microepisodes.
They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.