One of the first things a narcissist does it isolate you from family and friends. They want you to be completely dependent on them and eliminate any support system you have in place. It starts slowly with them making comments that they do not like your friends or family.
Narcissists typically most isolate family members because they pose the biggest threat of revealing things they want kept out of public view. Narcissists keep careful watch over what family information and images are exposed to the outside world.
A narcissistic family member, whether it is a parent or a sibling, normally has several characteristics that make them difficult to deal with. They normally have overinflated egos, a lack of empathy, and an intense need for attention. Narcissistic parents tend to be abusive and erratic towards their children.
Common methods include messing with the way you arrange your environment, insisting you did or said something else, and telling you you're abusive. My narcissist would corner me and force me to repeat details before laughing at me and saying, "Look at you, you're crazy."
Vulnerable narcissists try to defend themselves through Isolation and avoidance of social relations as they feel afraid of being let down and ashamed of needing others (Bernardi & Eidlin, 2018).
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem.
People with covert NPD are deeply afraid of having their flaws or failures seen by others. Exposing their innermost feelings of inferiority would shatter the illusion of their superiority.
People with covert narcissism often feel envy of others who have things that they feel they are entitled to themselves. They may not outwardly express their envy but may show bitterness or resentment towards others. Similarly, they believe that other people envy them because of the belief that they are special.
Many describe their childhood as one of being a “verbal punching bag” for their brother or sister, cruelty which often remains hidden to parents as the narcissistic child endeavours to maintain the appearance of perfection to authority figures.
Social learning theory holds that children are likely to grow up to be narcissistic when their parents overvalue them: when their parents see them as more special and more entitled than other children (9).
Lack of empathy: Narcissists often lack empathy as a result of dehumanizing others. Someone with NPD might not attempt to understand the perspective or feelings of anyone besides themselves, resulting in a lack of compassion and remorse for any wrongdoings.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
The narcissist goes into a schizoid mode: he isolates himself, a hermit in the kingdom of his hurt. He minimises his social interactions and uses "messengers" to communicate with the outside. Devoid of energy, the narcissist can no longer pretend to succumb to social conventions.
They ignore you because they want to control you. One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them.
There are plenty of tell-tale signs, like self-importance, a lack of empathy, a demanding personality and an excessive need for admiration.
Ridiculing you. Those who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the same time. As a result, things may get heated in an argument. You may experience insults, put-downs, and even mocking behaviors, like laughing as you express hurt.
Someone living with narcissistic personality disorder may tend to resent when others don't give them the status or importance they think they deserve. This may lead them to hold grudges for a long time. One of the ways covert narcissists may express this resentment is by using silent treatment.
Being Humiliated
Being at once grandiose and hypersensitive, narcissists have unrealistic expectations and are threatened by even small slights that others would easily brush off. Feeling embarrassed or humiliated is painful for anyone, but narcissists are especially reactive to those emotions.
Covert narcissists have narcissistic personality disorder, but they hide many of the typical signs and symptoms of a grandiose (or overt) narcissist. They may appear to be shy and modest, but inside they are chronically envious of others, can't handle criticism, and lack empathy for others.
Narcissists struggle to let anyone else make decisions for them. That's why they continue to hoover- they haven't decided that the relationship is done. In their minds, the relationship is over when they want it to be over. And even in that case, they still wish to access you in the peripherals of their daily life.