Here are some warning signs to watch out for if you think you're dealing with a toxic person: You feel like you're being manipulated into something you don't want to do. You're constantly confused by the person's behavior. You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes.
This doesn't mean you have to interact with them, but people aren't born “toxic” and generally get that way from observing such behavior in the home as a child or experiencing abuse. Setting healthy relationship boundaries with toxic people is essential, although it can be very challenging.
Many people who behave in a toxic manner have been through trauma themselves, and instead of dealing with that trauma, these people start exhibiting toxic traits. These people usually don't know how to process trauma and stress in a healthy manner, so they end up being unpleasant around people.
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
If you've addressed toxic behavior with the person exhibiting it and they have taken it to heart, it's possible for toxic people to change. “Toxic people can absolutely change,” Kennedy says, “however they must see their part in the problem before they are likely to find the motivation to do so.”
Toxic people often use manipulative tactics to make you doubt yourself. They may criticize your choices, belittle your accomplishments, or make you feel like you're never good enough. This can lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence.
But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly. You may not realize you see things as good or bad unless you experience something that forces you to reflect on your mindset.
If you're toxic in a relationship, you're probably known for playing the victim. Instead of taking accountability when you make a mistake, you may cry, blame your partner, and talk about how hard life is for you. Ultimately, this leads your partner to feel guilty for even being upset with you.
In some cases, toxic behavior may stem from underlying psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder. People with these conditions may engage in toxic behavior as a way to cope with their own emotional struggles.
Toxic relationships generally follow three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. Learn about each of these stages and the impact it has on you.
Toxic people are often insecure people. They tend to make themselves feel or seem better than others by talking badly about them rather than taking concrete actions to develop their skills. Toxic people feel entitled to judge others, their actions, decisions, and lifestyles.
Toxic people are often pessimistic, and their attitude can be contagious. If you spend too much time around them, you may start to doubt yourself and question your ability to achieve your goals. Additionally, toxic people can be manipulative and Machiavellian.
A substance is considered extremely toxic if it has an LD50 of less than 5 mgs/kg of animal body weight. To humans, this is the equivalent of a taste (less than 7 drops). It is Highly toxic if it has an LD50 of between 5 and 50 mg/kg of animal body weight to a human, this would be about a teaspoon.
Radon in basements, lead in drinking water, exhausts from cars and chemicals released from landfills are just a few examples of toxic substances that can hurt you.
Unlike fine wine or cheese, narcissists don't get better with age. They don't mellow, become wise, or develop late-onset self-awareness. Their personalities intensify, and without their ability to control others, they become bitter, defensive, and bossy.
In reality, toxicity can happen in every type of relationship imaginable. And, just because you're not toxic to one person, or in one type of relationship, doesn't mean you can't be toxic in another.
Some of the most common toxic traits include abusiveness, manipulation, being judgmental, dishonesty, and being generally unkind to others.
Overthinking strikes all of us at some point, but if it goes unchecked and unresolved, overthinking can certainly morph healthy relationships into toxic relationships. If you fall victim to your thoughts and allow them to go too far, they can end up driving a wedge of distrust between you and other people in your life.
Most psychologists indicate that it depends on the situation. When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.
Low self-esteem
People who are toxic are often insecure and have low self-esteem. This means they feel as though they're unworthy of being successful or happy, and tend to blame their failures on everything but themselves.
Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.