Try being a forgiving person Letting go of all the hate, anger, and disappointment you feel while you grieve is how to move on without closure. That means you have to forgive the person who caused you pain. Depending on their emotional maturity, you have to treat your ex kindly.
Without closure you might keep going back to a relationship that wasn't working. You could be doomed to repeat the same relationship patterns the next time around without closure. Getting closure allows you to be your best self – and a better future partner in a healthier relationship when the time for that is right.
Some people even have a desire to avoid closure at all cost. This could be because they don't want to end up feeling guilty, rejected or criticised by others. Vagueness has its advantages, as soon as you have established exactly what happened, you are also subject to criticism – from yourself and others.
The reason men don't give you closure is that most men don't want to admit that they're not man enough or the woman is too much." By 'too much' he means her standards are too high and the man can't meet the requirement.
Supports their narrative of the breakup – the narcissist does not see his behavior had any role in the breakup. By refusing to provide closure, the narcissist can avoid any responsibility for the problem and continue to frame the partner as the cause of the relationship failure.
Without closure, it's hard to move on, because there are still so many things you have left to say to this person. There are a million things you wanted to admit to them, explain to them, clear up for them. Even worse, there are so many questions that have been left unanswered.
Seeking closure can become a crutch that keeps you from doing the actual work of moving forward. You are asking someone who was not forthright with you in the first place to tell you what happened (if they had been, you wouldn't need closure). There are no guarantees the other person will be honest with you.
Most people are familiar with the term 'ghosting' — when somebody becomes silent and won't respond to your messages. You may have a desire for closure and they have no desire to respond.
Some people also have a need to avoid closure. The need to avoid closure is born from a person's desire to avoid commitment or confrontation. In other words, someone avoiding closure doesn't want certain questions answered. They might be afraid of what they'll learn.
Your Ex Girlfriend Is Afraid of Hurting Your Feelings
She might be concerned about hurting your feelings and making things worse. So the lack of closure could be one of those things that reflect on her not wanting to cause you and her more pain. She could be sparing you and herself from more pain and heartbreak.
You must begin to understand that closure is a selfish desire and not something you actually need in order to begin your healing process. We must remember to separate our needs from our wants; we can live without our wants but our life requires that are most basic needs are met at all times. 1.
Be As Formal As Possible. The best way to get closure is by having a controlled conversation, instead of one that gets heated. You can do so by scheduling a time to talk on the phone, or even meeting formally for coffee, if that feels right. Once you meet up, set the tone by being the first one to speak.
"People keep ruminating over a situation to try and find a solution, or might be seeking validation from people around them if they feel victimized," said Eek. "A study in 2008 found that rejection is often connected to rumination, or perpetually thinking about an ex-partner."
Psychologist Stephanie Ambrosius says asking for closure after a break-up can help both parties find clarity and comfort – and explains how to respond compassionately. Let's face it: break-ups are messy, and most of us have been left with a broken heart at some point in our lives.
Usually the answer is that you should not break no contact and you need to wait longer so that no contact can work on your ex more. If you've been dating more than three months, waiting a month and a half before even considering contact is ideal.
Keep seeing your friends/family and doing your hobbies. Narcissists have a habit of stopping you doing the things you love as it's part of their control. The best way to avoid this is to keep doing the things you love or meet someone who also enjoys the things you love.
From an early age, men are conditioned to believe that expressing their feelings is out of character with the male identity. Doing so can ruin their image of being strong and stoic. Specifically, men are told that crying in front of other people will threaten their masculinity. The same can be said about mental health.