Protect Yourself from Narcissist Hoovering If possible, try not to respond at all. Silence can sometimes be the most powerful response when faced with such manipulative tactics. Acknowledge what is happening but do not engage further. Stay assertive and firm in your decision if it's one that you've already made.
A narcissist will stop hoovering for three reasons. First, the victim set and maintained firm boundaries that took away all of the narcissistic supply. Second, the narcissist found a new source of supply. Third, the narcissists wants to manipulate the victim by making them feel inadequate, isolated, and alone.
Hoovering is caused by a narcissist's insecure need for power, control, validation, admiration, and reassurance. A narcissist uses hoovering to reassure their fragile sense of self, suppress their negative emotions, and fulfill their insecure needs.
Rejecting a Narcissist Hoover
Set firm boundaries and avoid answering their calls and messages. If they try using other people to get to you (e.g., telling mutual friends or your family members how much they miss you), ignore these messages and don't reply using friends and family.
What will a narcissist do if you refuse to let them hoover you? They will continue to stalk, harass, and merely terrorize you. They will go back and forth between pretending to be nice, having moments of clarity, epiphanies one day to being cruel, and horrid the next day.
When a narcissist has their hoover rejected it contradicts their sense of self, bruises their ego, and triggers their need for narcissistic supply. You can expect to experience a lot of rage, but if you maintain firm boundaries, you'll be able to escape their abuse, rebuild your sense of self, and successfully heal.
Protect Yourself from Narcissist Hoovering
If possible, try not to respond at all. Silence can sometimes be the most powerful response when faced with such manipulative tactics. Acknowledge what is happening but do not engage further. Stay assertive and firm in your decision if it's one that you've already made.
Rage: Narcissists are insecure and when there is a narcissistic injury to their sense of self, they will rage. This is often done with yelling and insults hurled at the victim. During these rages, the narcissist can be the most damaging in their words.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce. A research study showed that narcissists and psychopaths tend to stay friends with their ex for selfish reasons. They try to stay in your life or seduce and convince you to return.
One of the best ways to handle a narcissist is to stand up to them -- quite literally.
Narcissists may Hoover in a number of ways: by provoking the victim, waxing poetically about how they've changed, or even more sadistically, flaunting a new partner to their previous one after a particularly callous silent treatment or discard.
Outsmart the narcissist by refusing to stoop to their level.
Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down. Narcissistic Partner: “I can't believe you forgot to pick me up from work! I can never rely on you.”
To make up for this, the narcissist tries to hoover you back into a relationship by saying things like, “I can't believe that we aren't together anymore,” “I miss you so much,” “Can we meet up try to figure out where we went wrong with us,” and so on.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.