First, it's important to understand that losing sexual attraction happens to most couples as we move on with our normal life. Dr. Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of How To Be Happy Partners: Working It Out Together, tells SheKnows that decreased attraction “is very common as time passes in relationships.”
In fact, couples therapists say that feeling is quite common. “Loss of attraction tends to develop over time when partners no longer share new or exciting experiences,” says Rebecca Phillips, a therapist in Frisco, TX. “When you're no longer curious about your partner, you can feel stagnant and bored.”
“While physical attraction plays an important evolutionary role in reproduction, there's nothing to say that a lack of sexual attraction will negatively impact a relationship,” Backe explains.
However, generally, it is possible to revive the feelings of attraction in a relationship but it requires a commitment from both partners and honesty to examine, and work on the underlying issues. If your attraction has dissipated over time, then you need to have an honest and open conversation with your partner.
As we form a lasting romantic bond, dopamine and norepinephrine stop flowing. They're replaced by hormones associated with social bonding, like oxytocin.
The inability to feel attraction to someone could be due to various factors, including sexuality, depression, side effects of medication, or a lack of confidence in the ability to choose a partner wisely. Or, it could simply mean you haven't found the right person to inspire feelings of sexual desire.
Emotional attraction is all about how you make another person FEEL. It can be triggered in a variety of ways: through touch, pheromones, body language, behavior, the tone of your voice, humor, confidence, and vulnerability.
Decreased attraction has to be replaced with “affection, a sense of humor and intimate communication” Tessina says. It's also important to note it takes two willing people to get things going again, and “you both need to create ways to communicate that you want to be close to each other,” she adds.
Studies have shown that attraction can build over time, but it needs to be exercised like a muscle. Spend time thinking about the things you like and desire about this person, both physically and emotionally. Fantasies and feelings will grow and develop the more you focus your thoughts on these things.
For this reason, an individual can definitely be in love with someone without feeling sexually attracted to them. If you choose to stay with your partner, then you need to be aware that such a relationship poses a unique set of pitfalls and problems which both of you need to be aware of, and to address as they arise.
It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates.
Your Body Will Feel Warm
Your heart starts twisting around and your stomach drops. You feel a bit of heat rising to your face. Well that feeling is relatively similar to what most people may feel when they are sexually attracted to someone. You start to feel hot, and your heartbeat goes up in pace.
Just seeing your beloved can make your heart race, your legs weak and your face flushed. Touch him, and well… Movies try to convince us we'll feel this way forever, but the intense romance has an expiration date for everyone. Expect the passion to last two to three years at most, says Dr.
Show genuine interest in him to put him at ease.
If you told someone you weren't interested in them and then you start to like them, start up a conversation and ask questions about how he's been. That way, he'll feel like you really care, which may make him start thinking about you again.
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
If you have formed a relationship with someone you have never been physically attracted to, it is best to gently confront the person. Denying this deficit often results in more destructive behaviors, like having an affair or rejecting your partner in bed.