Reiterate to him that you do not want to pursue a relationship with him. Be polite, but direct. Don't apologize, or feel as though you need to justify yourself. You have an absolute right to not want a relationship, and you're under no obligation to provide a reason.
Thank you for the invite. I am honored; however, I will not be able to attend because I have another engagement that day. Sorry, I will not be able to attend because I am occupied on that day.
Is it possible to reject someone without hurting their feelings?
In general, the best you can do is break things off as kindly and gently as possible." You can and should try to reject someone without hurting them by exercising kindness and thoughtfulness in the conversation, but after that, how they handle that rejection is up to them.
Don't over-explain or list all the detailed reasons why you don't like them. “The nicest thing you can do is be direct and kind,” Kuburic says. Pointing out flaws or faults doesn't help the other person, Brigham adds. Instead, simply explain that you don't have romantic feelings for them and would rather be friends.
Part of the reason that rejecting people is difficult is that it's likely to hurt them. "Witnessing somebody in pain is very difficult," says Chan, "especially when that pain is connected to something you do or to something you feel or something you don't feel but wish you could."
Blaming ourselves and attacking our self-worth only deepens the emotional pain we feel and makes it harder for us to recover emotionally,” Winch said. Relationship expert and therapist Nicole McCance, says being left for someone else is the hardest type of rejection.
What happens when you suppress your feelings for someone?
“Suppressing your emotions, whether it's anger, sadness, grief or frustration, can lead to physical stress on your body. The effect is the same, even if the core emotion differs,” says provisional clinical psychologist Victoria Tarratt.
Even if you don't offer an explanation, you can still soften the blow by being polite and appreciative. For example, instead of a curt, “No, I can't do that,” you could say, “I'm really sorry, but I just don't have the bandwidth to take this on. I appreciate that you thought of me and best of luck!”
Just be direct and polite! Try: “I really appreciate your interest and openness, but I'm not able to reciprocate it. I know it may be hard to hear, but I'm not interested in moving forward.”
What causes fear of rejection? Past experiences with rejection can play a role in this fear. People who experience greater levels of anxiety or who struggle with feelings of loneliness, depression, self-criticism, and poor self-esteem may also be more susceptible.
The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That's why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal (albeit, emotional) pain.
