"After the 48-hour mark, if you really haven't said anything at all and someone asks you a question that needs an answer, then that's where you're starting to get into ... rudeness or inconsideration," she says. But even etiquette experts get bogged down.
It depends on the situation and the people involved. If you're close friends or in a relationship, then 12 hours is probably not too long, as long as you're not doing it all the time. However, if you're getting to know someone or you're not sure how they feel about you, then 12 hours might be too long.
If a close friend stops replying to you, try talking to them about it, ideally in person. Tell them how it makes you feel without being confrontational. Ask whether something is going on in their life that's making them slow to reply.
A General Rule of Thumb
A text should be answered within a couple of hours when there is not a time restraint. Keep in mind that if someone is working or exercising or basically out in the field, it may take longer for them to respond.
The 24 Hour Rule is a simple and effective method for saving relationships, particularly when you are tempted to act out of high emotion: When emotion is high, don't let words fly. Stop! Give it 24 Hours before you act.
Reply within 30–60 minutes to play it a little cool.
While it's okay to reply later if you're actually busy, purposefully waiting to text somebody might feel disrespectful if you're available. If you had to make the person wait for more than an hour, offer them an apology and explain what kept you from messaging them.
A week gives the person enough time to thoughtfully respond.
Even though it's a little old-fashioned, some people will wait 3 days after a date to text you back to make you miss them more. Waiting any longer than a week could be a sign they're not interested, and it might be best to let the conversation die out.
Time-sensitive messages should be answered as soon as possible, while you have more time for nonurgent ones. But not that long. Gottsman, speaking "from a polite factor" believes you should respond within a day.
Close Settings. As a phrase, “dry texting” is relatively recent in the grand scheme of things. It refers to people who reply with one word, or don't carry the conversation and just say things like “lmao” and “wyd” until the receiver wants to tear their hair out in frustration or boredom.
It's OK to ignore a text message, WhatsApp or a DM. Sometimes it's absolutely essential for your physical and mental health.
While you may know, rationally, that there are plenty of good reasons for someone not to respond to a text or an email—they're busy, they haven't seen the message yet, they're thinking about what they want to say—it doesn't always feel that way in a society where everyone seems to be on their smartphone all the time.
Psychologically speaking, there could be a number of things going on: They could be stressed and not able to think through a response right now. They may simply not know what to say. They could be thinking deeply about what to say and how to respond, as they believe you deserve that. They may need some space.
You're not alone in your texting anxiety, and science says there are perfectly brain chemistry-related reasons you're procrastinating with that text. "A few things come to mind when I think about unread texts or emails: fear of rejection, abandonment, and judgement," psychotherapist Lillyana Morales tells Bustle.
If a guy does not text you back immediately, there might be valid reasons like preoccupation with work, wanting some space, or being just not into you. When he does not text you back, do not bombard him with texts. Focus on yourself and go out and enjoy yourself with your friends.
Give it a few days (or even a week).
It might feel tough waiting for him to text you, but your crush might truly be busy and unable to respond to your messages right away. Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing.
It depends on the situation and the people involved. If you're close friends or in a relationship, then 12 hours is probably not too long, as long as you're not doing it all the time. However, if you're getting to know someone or you're not sure how they feel about you, then 12 hours might be too long.
A text exchange with no emotion could be a red flag, she notes. If the texts are flat, with no smiling in the language and little energy, this might be an indication the date is emotionally aloof. Some people manage the anxiety of attachment by trying to control their environment, Winsberg points out.
Cold texting is reaching out via SMS to a contact without their prior consent or permission. It's similar to cold calling and cold emailing. Some examples that would lead to cold texting include: Purchasing a contact list from a third party. Finding customers' phone information online.
He might be busy, he might not like texting, or he might not be into you. Dry texting is incredibly frustrating, but try to be patient for the first couple of short texts or long response times. If he starts the conversation up again or starts sending more detailed messages, he was probably just busy.
If you have given them the time to respond (at least 24 hours) and still hear nothing, sending a follow-up text can help clarify things.
But here's the thing about blatantly ignoring someone: not only is it rude, immature, inconsiderate, cruel, and petty, it's downright emotionally (and sometimes physically) damaging. Ignoring someone is not an act of love. In fact, silent treatment qualifies as abuse.
“I would communicate that you are wondering why there seems to be such a delay,” he says. He suggests asking questions about if there are times your partner just isn't able to respond, or what they see as an appropriately timely texting response.
Absolutely nothing is “normal.” Some couples text a million times a day, while others save it for pillow talk. Sometimes, on super busy workdays, there might be no communication at all. And that's totally fine. Try to figure out your limits so you can draw up the communication blueprint for your relationship.
Double-texting, or messaging two times before someone responds, is viewed as taboo in modern dating. While double-texting can feel bad, therapists say there is no rule for how much you should text. If you feel bad about double-texting, put your phone down and let the other person reply at their own pace.
How long should I wait to text her if she doesn't text back? It is not the same for everyone, but here is a rule of thumb: wait at least a day and no longer than three days. This time frame will help you avoid looking desperate or annoying. At the same time, it is not so long that she will think you have forgotten her.