But even if you're over your ex, and you've moved on to a new relationship, it still might not be healthy for you to ignore that delete button. A 2017 study from Kansas State University found that being friends with an ex on social media can have repercussions on your new relationship.
What does it mean when your ex wants to be friends? It may mean they are not over the relationship yet or regret the decision to break up with you. They may also want to be friends because they want to be on good terms with you post-breakup or may need something from you.
Yep, it's the norm. You don't want to come across as immature, you want to be grown up about it all, but guess what? It's definitely okay to 'unfriend' your ex on Facebook...
There is no right or wrong answer to this question, as every relationship is different. However, it is generally a good idea to stay friends with an ex on social media if you are able to do so without feeling bitter or angry about the breakup.
If hearing about him or her is highly painful or traumatic, it is probably in your best interest to unfriend your ex. This does not need to be done disrespectfully–this is about taking care of yourself. So, if you need to limit contact, do so. If you need to stay off a given social media site for a while, do so.
But removing reminders of your ex by deleting photos together off your phone and profile, and blocking them on any social media accounts, can give your brain a breather so it builds new neural pathways, essentially rewiring itself to help you heal from the breakup.
Things You Should Know
Create silence after a breakup by blocking your ex on social media, deleting their number from your phone, and avoiding them in public. Radio silence is a powerful tool! It can help you reflect and process the breakup, boost your confidence, and get your ex to miss you.
1) It exacerbates feelings of jealousy.
First and foremost, following your ex on social media ensures feelings of jealousy will surface. “Jealousy is normal and can be healthy, but after a breakup, it's not uncommon to feel higher, more intense levels of jealousy,” O'Reilly explains.
Although he could believe he's just being loving, it could also mean he struggles with having healthy boundaries. It also could be about him feeling uniquely qualified to help his exes… Or, he's just unable to say no because he doesn't want to disappoint.
According to Brown, an ex following you on Instagram could mean that they miss you, either romantically or just as a friend. "Perhaps they truly are over the romantic aspects of your relationship, but they cherish your friendship and want to continue to include you in their life," Brown explains.
Then, click “Unfriend.” When you unfriend someone, they can still see your profile and send you messages. If you do not want someone to be able to see your profile, items you post on your timeline, tag you, or send you messages, then you should block this person.
Here's why ignoring your ex is powerful: it gives you space to explore your own emotions and heal from the pain of heartbreak. Naming, acknowledging, and accepting your feelings. Noticing and naming emotions gives us a chance to step back and make a choice about what we want to do with them.
When a breakup is in the recent past, this behavior is more common… but sometimes, it's done when ex-partners are long gone. In these cases, again, curiosity usually has a lot to do with it, Paoli says… although it can also be a sign that things aren't over. This activity isn't always something to worry about.
There are four main reasons, Rebecca Griffith and her colleagues found, why exes feel compelled to maintain a friendship or to suggest doing so: for civility (i.e., I want this breakup to hurt less than it will otherwise), for reasons relating to unresolved romantic desires (I want to see other people but keep you ...
It may depend on why your relationship ended and what you intend to do as friends. However, if you constantly think of your ex and feel you cannot move on from them, keeping in touch might not be healthy until you can stop feeling romantic feelings toward them.
Being friends with a former partner is something many of us neither want or feel is possible, but with the right communication it can work. These include: civility; unresolved romantic desires; practicality (eg working together, going to school together or sharing mutual friends) and security.
So, when a lover reveals their friends with their ex, the first thought is usually along the lines of yeah right. However, according to relationship expert David Bennett, being friends with an ex “can be positive under the right circumstances,” he told Bustle.
Exes can make for good friends who know how to support, motivate, and care for you. However, each situation is unique. Don't rush into it, ask yourself what you want from the friendship, and make sure your ex stays in the past when it comes to your romantic future.
"I think being friends with an ex can be positive under the right circumstances," David Bennett, certified counselor and relationship expert, tells Bustle. "If your partner has a cordial, friendly relationship with them, that shows the person you're dating is mature, especially if there are children involved.
If you're struggling to move on, you may find yourself continuing to keep tabs on your ex's social media. Checking your ex's social media when you haven't moved on yet can provide temporary relief or distraction but ultimately it can prolong the grieving process and serve as a painful reminder of what you lost.
While it's a bit dated (the study was done in 2012) I have found it to be incredibly relevant today. Essentially it argues that close to 90% of exes will “facebook creep” you after a breakup. So, statistically speaking there is a high likelihood your ex is going to be stalking you on social media.
Should You Be Concerned If Your Partner Follows Their Ex On Instagram? If your partner follows their ex on social media without engaging in much of their content, this probably isn't anything that should concern you. The same goes if their ex follows them back.
Use the no contact rule
Does no contact make him miss you? Yes! One of the best ways to use silence after a breakup is to cut off all means of communication. That includes going silent on social media after a breakup.
For your first week or so post-breakup, consider taking a social media break. That way you won't stumble across your ex's posts while you're still at your most vulnerable. This will also help you resist the urge to broadcast your heartbreak in a way that may later make you feel over-exposed.