Calling out the narcissist really has no benefit. They won't start to acknowledge their wrongs and make efforts to change. By calling them out, you just open yourself up to more abuse from the narcissist. This might be hard to hear because this means you are left with no way to be heard for how you are being treated.
Generally, they will resort to narcissistic rage (explosive or passive-aggressive) or denial. He or she may become enraged, deny everything, call you a liar, twist reality, blame you and then play the victim. You may be the recipient of rage and aggression or the victim of The Silent Treatment.
The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.
Draw attention to a narcissist's contradictions to expose them. Malignant narcissists will share incompatible ideas and statements as it suits them. Whenever you spot an inconsistency, nicely comment on it in a roundabout way without being combative.
If you call out the narcissist about anything they feel like could expose them, expect rage. This could be commenting on their behaviors or calling them out on a lie. The narcissist rages to push people away and shut down any and all further communication.
Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge. But, it should not be your primary motivation. The most essential thing here is to be mature enough to let go of toxic individuals in your life, no matter how difficult it is.
Confronting someone with narcissistic traits or an NPD person can be challenging, but it can be important to stand up for yourself. If you choose to confront a narcissist, it doesn't mean you have to fight or argue. Confrontation can look like speaking up for yourself clearly and calmly.
You can expect grandiose narcissists to lash out when wounded. The more insulted they feel, the more rage they're likely to feel. And the more intense their rage, the more viciously they're likely to attack. The problem with them is as insidious as it is tragic.
If you catch a narcissist in a lie and confront them, you will definitely face at least one of the Four D's. They will either deny, deflect, devalue, and/or dismiss you. Deny. “It wasn't me.”
The best way to deal with a narcissist is to ignore them. By doing this, you take away their power and control. Narcissists thrive on attention and need constant validation. If you can learn to ignore them, they will eventually get the message that you're not going to put up with their behavior and move on.
You shouldn't expect a narcissist to have a healthy reaction when confronted with the truth. They are going to work as hard as they can to invalidate and devalue the truth to protect their false sense of self. For narcissists the truth is offensive, threatening, and unacceptable.
React with empathy and respect.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.
Ask them questions about their faulty logic. Narcissists say unbelievable or strange things without realizing it. A simple clarifying question directed back at them will give them pause. They'll often do a total 180 and change opinions, ideas, or stories when they realize how bizarre their claims were.
When you call out a narcissist, it's like poking a bear. They don't hear the message, only the anger. This increases their own rage and causes them to lash out. It's a lose-lose situation because what's really going on is that they are projecting onto you their own behavior by blaming you for it.
Narcissists love a good brawl; it helps feed their narcissistic supply. And they always fight dirty. So for your own sanity, try to avoid getting into an argument with one if you can. If it's not possible, remember to stay calm and factual.
Nine times out of ten, the best response is not to respond at all. But if you have to reply, the goal is to do so in a way that makes them see you differently. Right now, they see you as a source of narcissistic supply, someone they can rile up or rely on for attention (negative or positive).
Silent Treatment
This is very effective that makes the loved one distressed. They'll react negatively to not receiving the attention or love they are addicted to getting from the narcissist.
If they give you the silent treatment, don't respond. Don't answer their calls or texts, don't check on them or care for them when they are sick and don't offer them any kind of support. –Walk away from the relationship.
Narcissists don't like being ignored by anyone or anything. The narcissist perceives your withdrawal as a personal attack. People with narcissistic personality disorder don't understand healthy personal boundaries and won't suddenly have any respect for yours.