Children of all genders can become parentified. Children as young as two or three may start to take on parenting responsibilities by comforting or feeding their younger siblings.
Because parentified children often do not learn healthy boundaries and attachment, many have difficulties in their relationships as adults. They may have trouble trusting others or have an inappropriate sense of entitlement or authority” (Armas, 2022; Lewis, 2021; Newport, 2019).
Many eldest daughters are subjected to a form of parentification, which Healthline defines as a type of dysfunction wherein kids take on traditional parenting roles in the household: “Instead of giving to their child, the parent takes from them. In this role reversal, the parent may delegate duties to the child.
Parentification can occur when a family system experiences high levels of stress, and a caregiver is unable to perform their parental duties. These stressors might include: drug abuse, including alcohol use disorder. divorce.
Often parentified children are the oldest or middle in the birth order. Children of all genders can become parentified. Children as young as two or three may start to take on parenting responsibilities by comforting or feeding their younger siblings.
If you are a parent who is prone to intense mood fluctuations more frequently than others such that it makes your child “walk on eggshells” around you, and if you are a parent who is emotionally unpredictable to an extent that your child feels responsible for taking care of you out of guilt, the term “eggshell parents” ...
However, there are often negative effects of parentification in childhood. Many parentified children can grow up with higher levels of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
Paradoxically, being parentified by their parent does not reduce their parent's coercive powers even though it is the child meeting the needs of the parent. Ethical considerations involving a power differential: Parentification is about exploiting children. It is done by adults for adults.
Destructive parentification* is defined as a child who over-functions in a parental role. The opposite end of the spectrum is “infantilization,” a child who under-functions in a parental role but is fulfilling the parent's emotional needs of being a dependent child (Jurkovic et al.
It most often occurs when a child is expected to take on the role of a parent without the necessary support or resources to do so effectively. This type of trauma can lead to significant psychological distress and can be considered a form of emotional abuse.
As voiced by many on TikTok, the syndrome can impair eldest daughters' wellbeing and “steal” their childhood as they are rushed into assuming a disproportionate amount of adult responsibilities – also known as parentification.
However, there is a second type of trauma that is very real and pervasive, yet not captured by the traditional diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The term Complex PTSD describes chronic childhood trauma, such as emotional neglect or parentification, that is invisible in nature.
Parentification Causes
Typically, a child may be parentified if a parent is unable to fulfill their own role as a parental figure for various reasons. These reasons may include: Divorce. Chronic illness, disability, or a death in the family.
Setting healthy boundaries with toxic parents can help you heal from emotional parentification. You might have never learned how to set boundaries with others. You might even feel guilty or selfish when setting boundaries. Keep in mind that this might feel uncomfortable at first; however, setting boundaries is a skill.
Research published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies suggests that parentification may give some children feelings of competence, self-efficacy, and other positive benefits.
In contrast to parentification which happens within the home, adultification happens outside the home. It comes from the attitudes of people, organisations and services who surround the child. However, it is possible that a child's circumstances may cause them to experience both adultification and parentification.
Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a child or adolescent is obliged to act as parent to their own parent or sibling. Two distinct types of parentification have been identified technically: instrumental parentification and emotional parentification.
In cases of malicious parent syndrome, a divorced or divorcing parent seeks to punish the other parent. Sometimes, the offending parent will go so far as to harm or deprive their children in order to make the other parent look bad.
When the roles of a mother and daughter become entangled, this is described as an enmeshed relationship. In an enmeshed relationship, a mother provides her daughter love and attention but tends to exploit the relationship, fortifying her own needs by living through her daughter.
There is no one fiercer or scarier or more real in this world than a dragon mother. Dragon mothers are mothers who grieve for children who have died or are terminally ill. By Judy Bolton-Fasman, Contributor. Writer. Writer.
“Children who grow up with eggshell parents live in a state of chronic and persistent unpredictability from their primary caregivers,” Hindell says. “Children feel the instability of their environment and tend to blame themselves for the instability, versus understanding that they have an unstable parent.”
The risks of eggshell parenting
Hindell says eggshell parenting can lead to long-term difficulties for children, including: Anxiety. Depression. Unstable moods.