Lying, cheating, jealousy, and disrespect are signs of an unhealthy relationship. So is trying to control a partner.
What are red flags in a relationship? Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behavior. They are not always recognizable at first — which is part of what makes them so dangerous. However, they tend to grow bigger and become more problematic over time.
Here are some warning signs to watch out for if you think you're dealing with a toxic person: You feel like you're being manipulated into something you don't want to do. You're constantly confused by the person's behavior. You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes.
If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples. Fuller says negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem are all red flags, too.
If you're constantly fighting and seem unable to resolve conflict, that could be a sign of when to leave a relationship. While you can learn how to avoid arguments, you may not be able to fix deeper problems that a lack of communication indicates.
Unhealthy relationships are often marked by patterns of ineffective communication. This might involve not talking about problems, avoiding difficult issues, expecting the other person to be a mind reader, not listening, getting defensive, or stonewalling in order to avoid confronting problems in the relationship.
Fundamentally, toxic relationship behaviors are the result of a lack of empathy. Whether that be demanding your partner live up to your expectations, or refusing to see things from their perspective, toxic behavior often represents an inability to feel genuine understanding and compassion for the other person.
“If one partner is unwilling to compromise or meet the other halfway on important issues, it can be a yellow flag. A healthy relationship requires both partners to be willing to listen and work together to find solutions that work for both,” says Pia Johnson, LMSW.
Major red flags are infidelity, gaslighting, controlling behavior, angry outbursts, and physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.
The most destructive relationship behaviours are those the Gottmann Institute has deemed the 'Four Horsemen' – criticism, defensiveness, contempt (eye-rolling, disgust, dismissal or ridiculing), stonewalling, and the silent treatment.
Demeaning statements
Things you should never tolerate in a relationship include not being cared about. After all, if that's the case, then what's the point of the relationship? Essentially, insults or hurtful comments about you, your job, goals, family, or anything else just don't come from a caring and loving partner.
Trust Issues
Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals.
There is no set number for how often you should have disagreements with your partner. And having arguments can be a healthy part of any relationship. "Disagreements happen and when they do, they are an opportunity for greater self-awareness, and relationship expansion," Brown says.
Studies have shown that relationships generally end within 3 to 5 months from the day they begin.
If your partner makes you angry, miserable, or bored often and if it is very hard for you to explain the reasons why you still love this person, it's an obvious sign that you should go your own path. If you feel suffocated in a relationship and if the negatives overshadow the positives, it's time to move on.
If you're noticing yourself feeling really distant from your partner and you have fewer and fewer things in common with them, and perhaps you're just feeling disinterested or just numb or neutral towards the relationship, this is a sign that something needs to change.
“A green flag is when a potential partner is considerate and aware of your boundaries, asks for clarification on them when they are unclear, and does not push them,” she says. Let's say you ask to meet at a bar or the park on the first date and have expressed that you're more comfortable meeting in public places.