The most frequently kept secrets within a family include, but are not limited to, finances, serious health issues and death, and impending divorce.
A family secret is a secret kept within a family. Most families have secrets, but the kind and importance vary. Family secrets can be shared by the whole family, by some family members or kept by an individual member of the family. The secret can relate to taboo topics, rule violations or just conventional secrets.
Family secrets involve information purposefully hidden or concealed by one or more family members. The four types of secrets are sweet, essential, toxic and dangerous. Galvin, Braithwaite, & Bylund (2015) describe sweet secrets as those that protect fun surprises and they are time limited.
I sometimes don't reveal my real feelings. When my parents ask me, “Do you feel stressed or face any difficulties in your studies?”, I always tell them not to worry about me and that I am all right. My parents work very hard, so I keep this secret from them.
And if so, was it ever a secret? 'Even if you have discussed the experience with someone, if you still intend to keep it from someone else, then it would still count as a secret,' notes Michael. 'The most common secrets include a lie we've told (69%), romantic desire (61%), sex (58%), and finances (58%),' says Michael.
The Golden Rule is the principle of treating others as one wants to be treated. Various expressions of this rule can be found in the tenets of most religions and creeds through the ages. It can be considered an ethic of reciprocity in some religions, although different religions treat it differently.
It can be extremely harmful, leading to anxiety, shame, trust issues, resentment, stress, and sometimes to the use of addictive substances as a coping mechanism. An earlier study on secrets in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that thinking about hidden confidences makes physical tasks seem harder.
Every family has some secrets. Sometimes the adults wanting to protect young children don't tell them everything that is going on and when the children grow up, they are in a little bit of a shock to realize that they didn't know some of the important things about their families.
Functions of secrets involve bonding, evaluation, maintenance, privacy, defense or communication problems.
Use odd places.
Places like your underwear drawer, under the mattress, or at the top of your closet are obvious hiding locations for things. Your parents probably tried these areas when they were younger! Use strange or more complicated hiding areas for greater success.
People cite many reasons for maintaining family secrets, including protecting the family from judgment, dealing with possible consequences, and privacy.
Some include: support; love and caring for other family members; providing security and a sense of belonging; open communication; making each person within the family feel important, valued, respected and esteemed.
Concrete support: the ability to provide basic needs like food, clothing, housing, transportation, and access to health care. When you are able to secure these concrete supports, your stress level decreases and they help to ensure the safety and well-being of your children.
A family rule is a specific, clear statement about behaviors you expect from your child. Rules work best when there is consistency, predictability, and follow-through.
One of the most common reasons people justify keeping secrets is the need to “protect” someone. Secrets also originate from fear that actions within the family will be discovered and judged.
Most parents worry when they discover that their child is keeping information from them, but this behavior can be very typical. Children have a developmental need to discover where their parents' authority ends and where their own independence begins.
A secret is something you don't want everybody to know, like your secret crush on the bus driver. A secret can also be a mystery known to only a few — the secret of the lost pyramid. There might be a secret passageway in your basement that only you know about.
The most common have to do with past lies, finances, romantic attraction, sexual behavior, and desire for someone other than your spouse or partner. Family secrets, like abuse and mental-health problems, are high on the list too.
A good secret is something that can not hurt you. A bad secret makes you feel scared, uncomfortable, or upset. A bad secret is never your fault.